My Jewelry Dreams » Anniversary Engagement Ring » Significance of an engagement ring
Significance of an engagement ring
Question:
present (I think he thinks of this ring as an engagement ring) and one of his colleagues told him that, regarding his income, such a ring should cost something around 10′000 US-$ (I estimate his incomde to be something round 70′000 US-$ before
For 10,000 that ring will be a wonderful gift, but a bit extreme. I have seen engagement rings of all prices, but for that price…wow you could buy several good quality rings. Price around. I am not sure of price ranges for sure…but I figure up to 5,000 is adequate…more then good. Check web sites in the US regarding engagement rings… www.zales.com www.theknot.com those are a couple, but look around before spending 10,000 Jen Good things come to those who wait
Response:
Stephan – I’m not sure about a rule of thumb as to how much the ring should cost or how many people follow the rule if it exists – my opinion is that he should get as nice a ring as he thinks he can afford OR propose to her first and then go shopping for a ring together. Both plans are followed quite often here. As for the meaning of it – yes, it DOES signify that he has propsed marriage if he gives her an engagement ring, so he needs to be sure about this before doing so. People really vary with repsect to how soon is too soon to get engaged – your friend will have to use his judgement for his own situation. One thing for him to think about, however, is that he COULD wind up scaring her off if he proposes before it’s even really crossed her mind. Maybe he should bring up the idea hypothetically either on or before this next visit to see how she responds. If it seems like a possibility, then it may be the right time. Hard to say without knowing the two of them, though. Good luck! Patty Reali (Just married on 11/6/99!!!)
Response:
ahhh, careful. Don’t be so quick to judge this fellow and his intentions. Having been well acquainted with how deeply you can know someone from exchanges on the internet before you even meet them in person, it’s quite feasible to believe that both these people are thinking along the same lines even if they’ve only "met" twice in person. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t say that this is not proper given that the woman is "American". With all due respect, I don’t think you’re able to speak for all American women, just as I would be unqualified to speak for all Canadian women… or the poster for all Germans of either gender, for that matter. Just my opinion. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – X-post: soc.couples.wedding, alt.wedding F’up: alt.wedding Hi, this question goes out to the US-American people out there. I need some help in understanding the significance and rituals of/about engagement rings in the US. In Germay, engagment rings are of no big importance and more and more people don’t even get engaged. Let me briefly sketch the situation. A fried of mine (German, male, age 29, let’s call him A) has fallen in love with a girl from NY state (US American, age 28). They have met during a holiday this summer, he has visited her once since and she will be coming over for christmas. He plans to give her a ring as a present (I think he thinks of this ring as an engagement ring) and one of his colleagues told him that, regarding his income, such a ring should cost something around 10′000 US-$ (I estimate his incomde to be something round 70′000 US-$ before tax). Here are my questions: I know that an engagement ring is of big signiuficance in the US, what is the rule of thumb for how much it should cost and in how far do people obey this rule? In general, when is the right time to give her such a ring? Is their third meeting (if you consider their special situation) way to early, or would she even expect it and will be disapointed otherwise? (Let’s assume that she is serious with him.) He already got to know her family and she will meet his family during her visit. Is giving such a ring euquivalent to him proposing marriage? Or more like "going _really_ steady"? Thanks helping me undestand. Stephan Tobies — http://www-lti.informatik.rwth-aachen.de/~tobies/index.html There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. B. Russell Hi… I think your friend is jumping the gun. In the U.S. we don’t get engaged until we are sure of the relationship. Marriage is a life-time committment, and most Americans don’t get engaged until they’re sure of the person they’re involved with–until they know them well. Your friend has only met this woman twice, and while I acknowledge that she must feel something for him also (since she’s making the trip to see him), I think that the giving of an "engagement" ring is premature. The engagement ring goes far back in history. Even in ancient Rome, a man gave a woman a ring to cement an offer of marriage, once it was accepted by her family. While DeBeers suggests giving a ring, the cost based on two months salary, I disagree. The engagement ring should come from the heart–and be only what the man–or the couple can afford. All the best, Deb McCoy, author, "For the Bride" Please visit my website: Info, interaction, quizzes, 2nd wedding and reaffirmation info, quizzes, and more… www.debmccoy.com
Response:
In a previous article, Rachel Ward said… Remember that this "rule of thumb" is courtesy of DeBeers, who would be very happy if every groom bought a super-huge rock for his intended. Many people could save "rigorously" for two months and only end up with a couple hundred dollars. Would those same people happily go into debt to buy something worth two months’ salary? DeBeers sure hopes so!
Well, technically, DeBeer’s doesn’t care. You see, DeBeer’s handles *every* diamond sold in the world, even the small ones, so whether you spend a day’s wages or a year’s salary, they get a cut of it. In all probability, they may make more margin on the small diamonds then they do on the 2+ carat bigguns. What DeBeer’s has successfully done, under South African Law, is set up a monopoly that John D. Rockefeller could only dream of – they control every diamond mine in the world, and therefore control the price of diamonds. Diamonds aren’t extremely ‘rare’ in the supply-and-demand- sense-of-things, but their price is controlled by a single cartel. Of course, your jeweler sure hopes that you spend two months’ salary. And they hope you make a *lot* of money in a couple of months. :-) Rules-of-thumb are just that. You have to consider your own circumstances. Some folks’ two months’ salary will buy a rock bigger than anyone could ever wear on a finger, while for others, two months’ salary would just be ludicrous with respect to their overall financial picture. Get the prettiest ring you can, within your means, and get one which will retain value – i.e., the clearest and whitest diamond in your price range. How’s that for a rule of thumb? — Joe Pucillo http://www.JoePucillo.com Baltimore, Maryland USA
Response:
One thought about advertising: Wouldn’t you think that instead of two-months salary, I would think that two-months rigorous savings might be a better rule of thumb for engagement ring pricing?
Remember that this "rule of thumb" is courtesy of DeBeers, who would be very happy if every groom bought a super-huge rock for his intended. Many people could save "rigorously" for two months and only end up with a couple hundred dollars. Would those same people happily go into debt to buy something worth two months’ salary? DeBeers sure hopes so! I agree that spending only what you can manage to save in a particular amount of time is usually fiscally sound (for the ring as well as for other expenses). But remember that the people who came up with the two-months-salary "rule" aren’t much interested in how fiscally sound their customers are (at least, until they "need" a diamond anniversary ring!) Rachel to Jeremy, September 15, 2000 Rachel Ward / Isolde / Bodacious Sylph O’ Nekkidity / Wench 422 / MiSTie 91289 "A blisful lyf, a paisible and a swete, Ledden the peples in the former age." Chaucer, "The Former Age." "Very well, the motion carries," Doug smiled. "Let it go into the record that Go West has decided, by unanimous vote I might add, to leave the world-saving to the big guys. Should the world still be imperiled at our next hot tub meeting, we shall consider a recount." _Go West_, Chapter 12, by Jeremy Bottroff
Response:
Ignore the diamond industry and their X months’ salary tripe.
We did. The guy I bought her ring from didn’t pressure us in any way. He was incredibly helpful and very inexpensive. I’m recommending him to anyone in my area who is looking for jewelry. Buy the ring you like.
Excellent advice. The only reason I posted the 3 months thing is because he asked; I don’t really believe it. erik — * free Famous Fonts from tv, movies, music, publications, games, food, & more * Weird Pictures ranging from deformities to autopsies * Informative tributes to greats such as Nolan Ryan, John Elway, Tom Petty, and The Beatles * recipes, chat, news, and links to great deals on software, books, and music http://www.eliteentertainment.net change the ‘not’ to ‘net’ to reply .
Response:
The general rule of thumb is 3 months salary. I don’t know how many people follow it, but every jewelry store we went to ‘encouraged’ it. I just found a ring she liked and got it, and it happened to be about 2 1/2 or 3 months salary.
Wow. I am under 30, and I remember when the "guideline" was one month’s salary. About the time I got engaged, 18 months ago, De Beers ads mentioned 2 months’ salary. It takes a pretty bold jeweller to suggest that a quarter of your pretax income for the year should be budgeted toward an engagement ring, when shoppers will hear a much lower rule of thumb from every other source. Not that that’s not an appropriate figure for some; someone temporarily making a low income, due to, say, school or medical residency, but having substantial savings and a high future income, might feel safe in spending a good deal more. — Katherine Sullivan Nortel Networks
Response:
* *The general rule of thumb is 3 months salary. I don’t know how many *people follow it, but every jewelry store we went to ‘encouraged’ it. *I just found a ring she liked and got it, and it happened to be about *2 1/2 or 3 months salary. Incredible. I just checked with DH and not one store he went to said anything about how much he SHOULD spend. They asked him how much he WANTED to spend. If anyone had suggested to him how much he SHOULD spend he says he would have walked out in a huff. — "So that’s 2 T-1s and a newsfeed….would you like clues with that?" Net Access…The NSP for ISPs….The NOC that rocks around the clock.
Response:
I know that an engagement ring is of big signiuficance in the US, what is the rule of thumb for how much it should cost and in how far do people obey this rule?
DeBeers, the big diamond importer, is always saying "2 months salary". If he can afford that amount, then go for it. Other than that, a nice diamond solitare is the usual engagement ring. In general, when is the right time to give her such a ring? Is their third meeting (if you consider their special situation) way to early, or would she even expect it and will be disapointed otherwise? (Let’s assume that she is serious with him.)
An engagement ring is given at the time of marriage proposal. Usually the guy gets down on one knee and looks deeply into her eyes and professes how much he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. (Of course, there are numerous other ways to propose.) Sidney Smith Eustis, FL
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