Question:

In article <df0b4c3a.0305030653.7b7f5…@posting.google.com

,

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text - celaine…@yahoo.com (Celaine) wrote:

dave…@yahoo.co.uk (Dave19R) wrote in message <news:1925fec8.0305030222.21835ab1@posting.google.com… I know this is stupid but I haven’t a clue about these type of things and any help would be welcome. Let me show some of my own stupidity here, then.  You talked about the middle finger on the left hand -usually it’s the ring finger(next to the pinky) that’s the significant one.  But this may have fallen by the way side, too.  Does the middle finger have significance where you’re at? (there’s my stupidity).  I am unattached and happen to really like rings and have a lot of them, so I wear them on whatever finger I like, regardless of the "significance."  I’d take a look at the rings – are they large and kind of decorative (I’m thinking along the lines of maybe a silver ring w/ turquoise or amber or such).  If they are, odds are they’re not significant of anything other than the fact that she likes rings.  Relationship-rings are, in traditional thinking, more apt to be bands or perhaps solitaires, and usually more serious in materials, like gold or platinum and the stones are more serious too.  Friendship rings, if I recall right, are bands and usually of lesser materials like silver maybe with some inlay.  Jeeze, I’m old.

Keep in mind that there are plenty of men who aren’t going to keep track of all the analysis of combinations of style of rings/preciousness of the stone/hand upon which it’s worn/finger upon which it’s worn.  And in my experience, it’s the nicer/more unassuming guys who worry more about asking out someone who’s engaged or married. For women who are single and looking for nicer guys, this means that you should either ditch rings entirely to avoid confusion, or ramp up the "I’m single" messages/signals if you simply must wear rings. -yakima

Response:

How come?  Even if it’s a pinkie ring?  There can’t be too many women out there who never wear rings of any kind at all.

I guess I figure some guy gave it to her. It’s a convenient excuse not to approach.

Response:

I’ll only ask her out of there’s a good chance that she hasn’t got a b/f. I have made a few subtle enquiries and she hasn’t mentioned anyone.

I don’t make "subtle" inquiries. I ask Where’s your boyfriend? or something similar. Or, Your boyfriend… blah blah. Then, you get a clear answer. Usually. KC

Response:

"Trance909" <trance…@aol.com

wrote in message

news:20030503130328.26726.00000647@mb-m22.aol.com…

How come?  Even if it’s a pinkie ring?  There can’t be too many women out there who never wear rings of any kind at all. I guess I figure some guy gave it to her. It’s a convenient excuse not to approach.

    Naw, girls buy rings for themselves too, or their girlfriends buy them something for their birthday or whatever. I ignore rings unless they’re on the left ring finger. Even then you never know, I’ve known more than one girl that’s unattached but specifically wears a ring on that finger so guys will be discouraged from asking them out. Of course if that’s the case then asking them out is still going to get you shot down, I suppose.

Response:

"Dave19R" <dave…@yahoo.co.uk

wrote in message

news:1925fec8.0305030222.21835ab1@posting.google.com…

I am interested in a girl whom I get in well with and I think I could have a chance with her if I asked her out. I’m sure she’s not married or has ever been married but she could easily have a long term boyfriend. On the left hand she has a ring on the middle finger and on the right hand she has rings on the thumb and first finger. I just need some help interpreting this – does this automatically mean she has a b/f? I know the left hand middle finger is important – is it possible or likely that she has a ring on this finger but isn’t dating anyone? Does the actual ring make a difference, what sort of rings should I look for do different style rings have different meanings?

I find this topic interesting.  I have observed the way women wear rings. One girl, who I happen to be attracted to, wears rings on all the fingers on her left hand except her "ring finger".  I wonder if she’s trying to tell the world something.  Maybe she has that finger reserved.

Response:

"Kali" <n…@nonesdf.com

wrote: It’s the left ring finger that’s supposed to signify being engaged or married.  If she’s specifically not wearing a ring on that finger, then she’s probably free.

Er, that’s her left, right?

Response:

"Trance909" <trance…@aol.com

wrote: I tend to use rings of any sort as excuses to not bother with a girl.

Among others…..

Response:

"Dave19R" <dave…@yahoo.co.uk

wrote: it was a sign the person was married. Dammit I’m an idiot.

You’re right.  You are an idiot!

Response:

Dave19R <dave…@yahoo.co.uk

wrote in message

1925fec8.0305030222.21835…@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

I am interested in a girl whom I get in well with and I think I could have a chance with her if I asked her out. I’m sure she’s not married or has ever been married but she could easily have a long term boyfriend. On the left hand she has a ring on the middle finger and on the right hand she has rings on the thumb and first finger. I just need some help interpreting this – does this automatically mean she has a b/f? I know the left hand middle finger is important – is it possible or likely that she has a ring on this finger but isn’t dating anyone? Does the actual ring make a difference, what sort of rings should I look for do different style rings have different meanings? I’ll only ask her out of there’s a good chance that she hasn’t got a b/f. I have made a few subtle enquiries and she hasn’t mentioned anyone. But perhaps she takes it for granted that I know based on the rings? I know this is stupid but I haven’t a clue about these type of things and any help would be welcome. Dave19R

Ask her straigth: You: what a nice ring ! let me see. (optionally pick up her hand ) Her: hey… do you like it ? You: who gave it to you…. ? ……………………….. Ah, don’t be shy (LOL).

Response:

I am interested in a girl whom I get in well with and I think I could have a chance with her if I asked her out. I’m sure she’s not married or has ever been married but she could easily have a long term boyfriend. On the left hand she has a ring on the middle finger and on the right hand she has rings on the thumb and first finger. I just need some help interpreting this – does this automatically mean she has a b/f? I know the left hand middle finger is important – is it possible or likely that she has a ring on this finger but isn’t dating anyone? Does the actual ring make a difference, what sort of rings should I look for do different style rings have different meanings? I’ll only ask her out of there’s a good chance that she hasn’t got a b/f. I have made a few subtle enquiries and she hasn’t mentioned anyone. But perhaps she takes it for granted that I know based on the rings? I know this is stupid but I haven’t a clue about these type of things and any help would be welcome. Dave19R

Response:

"Dave19R" <dave…@yahoo.co.uk

wrote in message

news:1925fec8.0305030222.21835ab1@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

I am interested in a girl whom I get in well with and I think I could have a chance with her if I asked her out. I’m sure she’s not married or has ever been married but she could easily have a long term boyfriend. On the left hand she has a ring on the middle finger and on the right hand she has rings on the thumb and first finger. I just need some help interpreting this – does this automatically mean she has a b/f? I know the left hand middle finger is important – is it possible or likely that she has a ring on this finger but isn’t dating anyone? Does the actual ring make a difference, what sort of rings should I look for do different style rings have different meanings? I’ll only ask her out of there’s a good chance that she hasn’t got a b/f. I have made a few subtle enquiries and she hasn’t mentioned anyone. But perhaps she takes it for granted that I know based on the rings? I know this is stupid but I haven’t a clue about these type of things and any help would be welcome. Dave19R

It’s the left ring finger that’s supposed to signify being engaged or married.  If she’s specifically not wearing a ring on that finger, then she’s probably free.

Response:

"Kali" <n…@nonesdf.com

wrote in message "Dave19R" <dave…@yahoo.co.uk wrote in message I am interested in a girl whom I get in well with and I think I could have a chance with her if I asked her out. I’m sure she’s not married

…………….

Dave19R It’s the left ring finger that’s supposed to signify being engaged or

…

Or you could simply ask her, as well.  If she’s not interested she’ll probably say yes.

Response:

dave…@yahoo.co.uk (Dave19R) wrote in message <news:1925fec8.0305030222.21835ab1@posting.google.com

… I know this is stupid but I haven’t a clue about these type of things and any help would be welcome.

Let me show some of my own stupidity here, then.  You talked about the middle finger on the left hand -usually it’s the ring finger(next to the pinky) that’s the significant one.  But this may have fallen by the way side, too.  Does the middle finger have significance where you’re at? (there’s my stupidity).  I am unattached and happen to really like rings and have a lot of them, so I wear them on whatever finger I like, regardless of the "significance."  I’d take a look at the rings – are they large and kind of decorative (I’m thinking along the lines of maybe a silver ring w/ turquoise or amber or such).  If they are, odds are they’re not significant of anything other than the fact that she likes rings.  Relationship-rings are, in traditional thinking, more apt to be bands or perhaps solitaires, and usually more serious in materials, like gold or platinum and the stones are more serious too.  Friendship rings, if I recall right, are bands and usually of lesser materials like silver maybe with some inlay.  Jeeze, I’m old. Do you have the kind of talk going where you could casually admire the rings in conversation?  It might lead to something along the lines of, "Thanks.  I got that one from my grandma…" etc. and you could find out what’s going on with them maybe.

Response:

dave…@yahoo.co.uk (Dave19R) wrote in news:1925fec8.0305030222.21835ab1 @posting.google.com: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

I am interested in a girl whom I get in well with and I think I could have a chance with her if I asked her out. I’m sure she’s not married or has ever been married but she could easily have a long term boyfriend. On the left hand she has a ring on the middle finger and on the right hand she has rings on the thumb and first finger. I just need some help interpreting this – does this automatically mean she has a b/f? I know the left hand middle finger is important – is it possible or likely that she has a ring on this finger but isn’t dating anyone? Does the actual ring make a difference, what sort of rings should I look for do different style rings have different meanings? I’ll only ask her out of there’s a good chance that she hasn’t got a b/f. I have made a few subtle enquiries and she hasn’t mentioned anyone. But perhaps she takes it for granted that I know based on the rings? I know this is stupid but I haven’t a clue about these type of things and any help would be welcome. Dave19R

the engagement/wedding rings that Kali explained are the only ones taken for granted.  anything else may have meaning to her (but not necessarily romantic, it could be a gift from a good friend or family member) but shouldn’t be assumed to mean anything to most of society. if you’re curious, talk about them.  most people quite enjoy having what they’re wearing complimented, and she may tell you if one of them is from someone. however, it mostly sounds like she just likes rings!

Response:

It’s the left ring finger that’s supposed to signify being engaged or married.  If she’s specifically not wearing a ring on that finger, then she’s probably free.

I tend to use rings of any sort as excuses to not bother with a girl.

Response:

"Trance909" <trance…@aol.com

wrote in message

news:20030503121437.02864.00000452@mb-m13.aol.com…

It’s the left ring finger that’s supposed to signify being engaged or married.  If she’s specifically not wearing a ring on that finger, then she’s probably free. I tend to use rings of any sort as excuses to not bother with a girl.

How come?  Even if it’s a pinkie ring?  There can’t be too many women out there who never wear rings of any kind at all.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -celaine…@yahoo.com (Celaine) wrote in message <news:df0b4c3a.0305030653.7b7f5609@posting.google.com

… dave…@yahoo.co.uk (Dave19R) wrote in message <news:1925fec8.0305030222.21835ab1@posting.google.com… I know this is stupid but I haven’t a clue about these type of things and any help would be welcome. Let me show some of my own stupidity here, then.  You talked about the middle finger on the left hand -usually it’s the ring finger(next to the pinky) that’s the significant one.  But this may have fallen by the way side, too.  Does the middle finger have significance where you’re at? (there’s my stupidity).  I am unattached and happen to really like rings and have a lot of them, so I wear them on whatever finger I like, regardless of the "significance."  I’d take a look at the rings – are they large and kind of decorative (I’m thinking along the lines of maybe a silver ring w/ turquoise or amber or such).  If they are, odds are they’re not significant of anything other than the fact that she likes rings.  Relationship-rings are, in traditional thinking, more apt to be bands or perhaps solitaires, and usually more serious in materials, like gold or platinum and the stones are more serious too.  Friendship rings, if I recall right, are bands and usually of lesser materials like silver maybe with some inlay.  Jeeze, I’m old. Do you have the kind of talk going where you could casually admire the rings in conversation?  It might lead to something along the lines of, "Thanks.  I got that one from my grandma…" etc. and you could find out what’s going on with them maybe.

Thanks for the advice, I didn’t know any of that stuff. I actually thought that the ring finger WAS the middle finger and that there were just two terms for the same finger (similar to pinky/little finger) So that shows how little I know. That’s why I stressed in the original post that I thought a ring on a middle finger was significant. All these years I’ve been seeing rings on middle fingers and assumed that it was a sign the person was married. Dammit I’m an idiot. Dave19R

Response:

Question:

I was just wondering what everyone’s opinion was. I remember when the commerical used to say 3 months salary. I myself don’t think 2 months salary is outrageous. Are you the one buying the ring, or hoping to receive one? Donna

lmao I was thinking the same thing! Niki,

Response:

I was just wondering what everyone’s opinion was. I remember when the commerical used to say 3 months salary. I myself don’t think 2 months  salary is outrageous. Are you the one buying the ring, or hoping to receive one? Donna

I think the two months salary thing is just a thing invented by the jewelry industry. I live in France and there is not such stuff like that over here. The price means nothing, the importance is the beauty of the ring. Look at the diamond buying tips from my fianc

Question:

Greetings;         I recently got my shotgun drilled to accept scopes.  I have deer hunted with this gun for several years and just decided to put a scope on it this year.  The shop that did it did a very good job.  He put a flat mount-type device on my gun that he said I could put virtually any scope on.  I have been looking at scopes online.  Question 1: is there any particular place that has great prices on scopes?  I mean, there is pricewatch.com for computers, but is there a hunting place online that gives awesome prices?  Question 2: is a shotgun scope and a rifle scope the same thing?  I see some scopes advertised as a rifle scope and others as a shotgun scope.  I have a shotgun.  Is there a difference? Question 3: How do I interpret this part of a scope’s specs: "4×32"?  I know that is the power of the scope, but what exactly does each number mean?  Question 4: is there a difference in mounting rings?  The gunsmith said I could mount almost any scope on my gun.  Are rings universal or do some rings work only with certain scopes?  Your help is greatly appreciated!  If you would, please respond directly to my Thank-you many times over, James Visit the rec.hunting and rec.hunting.dogs FAQ Home Page at:         http://sportsmansweb.com/hunting/

Response:

Greetings,         I recently got my shotgun drilled in order to mount a scope.  I have a couple questions about that.  I have hunted for several years, but have just now decided to add a scope.  The shop that did the drilling for me did a great job.  He put a mount on it that he said I could attach virtually any scope to.  I am not looking for a real expensive scope for my first one – just one that will do the job this deer season.  Question 1: what exactly does the phrase "4×32" mean when looking at the specs of a scope? Questions 2: Is there a place online that has just awesome prices on scopes?  Like there is PriceWatch.com for computers.  Is there something like that for hunting equipment?  If not, where have you found the best deals online?  Question 3: Is there a difference in the rings that you use to mount the scope?  Are rings universal or are there certain types for certain scopes?  You help on this is much appreciated!  If you would, Thank-you! James Visit the rec.hunting and rec.hunting.dogs FAQ Home Page at:         http://sportsmansweb.com/hunting/

Response:

[posted and mailed] Greetings,         I recently got my shotgun drilled in order to mount a scope.  I         have Question 1: what exactly does the phrase "4×32" mean when looking at the specs of a scope? Questions 2: Is there a place online that has just awesome prices on scopes?  Like there is PriceWatch.com for computers.  Is there something like that for hunting equipment?  If not, where have you found the best deals online?  Question 3: Is there a difference in the rings that you use to mount the scope?  Are rings universal or are there certain types for certain scopes?  You help on this is much appreciated!  If you would, please reply directly to my

1) 4×32 == Magnification of 4 times; 32 = objective size in mm (the piece of glass at the front, the bigger the objective lens is,the brighter the image inside appears). A scope of 6×42 would be 6 times magnification with a 42mm objective lens (1.5-6×42 would be a 1 to 6 zoom lens). You will also see 1 inch vs. 30mm scopes. This is the size of the "tube" that runs between the front lenses and the rear ones. 1 inch is good, 30mm is better. MORE IMPORTANT for you will be "eye relief". That is, the distance it takes to form an in focus, properly framed image from your eye to the scope’s eyepiece. On riflescopes, this is less important until you get to the big, really big calibers that have great recoil, (I have a .416 Lazzeroni…that is REALLY big recoil! and I need 4" of eye relief) and would cut you with the scope edge. Shotguns need more eye relief than rifles, but pistols, because you hold them at arm’s length, need the most. 3 1/2" or better eye relief would be good for you. Please note that you give up "field of view" (how wide the image is) for eye relief, but for me its no issue; I go for eye relief every time. 2) Dunno. The selection and mounting of a scope is something I always do in person. 3) Height, strength, looks, the way it connects to the bases. There are certain types to fit certain scopes (ie. 1 inch tube scopes need a samller ring than a 30mm tube scope) You buy bases and rings to match your scope, not vice versa. Yale Visit the rec.hunting and rec.hunting.dogs FAQ Home Page at:         http://sportsmansweb.com/hunting/

Response:

Question 1: is there any particular place that has great prices on scopes?  I mean, there is pricewatch.com for computers, but is there a hunting place online that gives awesome prices?

Not that I know of.  Question 2: is a shotgun scope and a rifle scope the same thing? I see some scopes advertised as a rifle scope and others as a shotgun scope.  I have a shotgun.  Is there a difference?

The only real difference is that because a shotgun is a short-range weapon, you would have no need for a large magnification. You would therefore probably not want a variable scope. Question 3: How do I interpret this part of a scope’s specs: "4×32"?  I know that is the power of the scope, but what exactly does each number mean?

"4" is the magnification- how much bigger the image is through the scope compared to your maked eye.  For a shotgun, I wouldn’t go any larger than this. "32" is the diameter in millimeters of the lens.  The wider the lens, the more light comes in and the brighter the view. Most scopes are 32mm or 40mm. A 4×32  is a pretty good all-round scope, you probably wouldn’t regret getting one.  I certainly wouldn’t get a larger magnification than this for a shotgun. Question 4: is there a difference in mounting rings?

Yes.  Rings are specific to the mounting platform.  They also need to be the same diameter as the scope. I suggest you first choose your scope, then ask the dealer for quality rings that will fit your scope and your gun (you’ll need to take it in when you buy the scope). Shoot straight… Visit the rec.hunting and rec.hunting.dogs FAQ Home Page at:         http://sportsmansweb.com/hunting/

Response:

James, The mount on your shotgun sounds like a Weaver style base. The Weaver base takes Weaver style rings that come in three heights, low, medium and high. In addition, the rings come in two different diameters for better scopes, 1 inch and 30mm. The ring height and diameter is determined by the scope. The numbers associated with the scope tell you the power and the diameter of the objective (front opening size). Example, a 4×12x50, one inch, is a four by twelve power variable scope with a 50mm objective and a one inch tube diameter. The objective size normally corresponds to the field of view and light gathering ability of the scope, bigger is more. Shotgun scopes normally have longer eye relief (distance from back of scope to your eye to focus picture in scope) than do rifle scopes. What you would need is most probably a low power to zero power scope with intermediate eye relief. Put the shotgun to your shoulder, cheek on the stock, then measure from the back of the rail to your eye, deduct about two to two and a half inches, the remainder will be the approximate eye relief you will need. If you are going to be hunting in brushy terrain and or where shots will be at a maximum of 100 yards, you might consider a  red dot with a large tube, they have no magnification, have large fields of view and are quick in the woods. Otherwise, I would consider a low magnification scope with the largest objective I could find. Cheap scopes are just that, cheap. The most aggravating signature of a cheap scope is fogging due to temperature changes. Good Luck, Bandit – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Greetings;         I recently got my shotgun drilled to accept scopes.  I have deer hunted with this gun for several years and just decided to put a scope on it this year.  The shop that did it did a very good job.  He put a flat mount-type device on my gun that he said I could put virtually any scope on.  I have been looking at scopes online.  Question 1: is there any particular place that has great prices on scopes?  I mean, there is pricewatch.com for computers, but is there a hunting place online that gives awesome prices?  Question 2: is a shotgun scope and a rifle scope the same thing?  I see some scopes advertised as a rifle scope and others as a shotgun scope.  I have a shotgun.  Is there a difference? Question 3: How do I interpret this part of a scope’s specs: "4×32"?  I know that is the power of the scope, but what exactly does each number mean?  Question 4: is there a difference in mounting rings?  The gunsmith said I could mount almost any scope on my gun.  Are rings universal or do some rings work only with certain scopes?  Your help is greatly appreciated!  If you would, please respond directly to my Thank-you many times over, James Visit the rec.hunting and rec.hunting.dogs FAQ Home Page at:         http://sportsmansweb.com/hunting/

Visit the rec.hunting and rec.hunting.dogs FAQ Home Page at:         http://sportsmansweb.com/hunting/

Response:

Question:

    I’m just thinking that this is creating more problems for BM when she needs to enforce discipline with her son, rather than problems for anyone else.  The child isn’t going to think of his mom as final authority, but rather be threatening to bring in his Dad… Merrie rebecca <justrebec…@yahoo.com

wrote in message

news:HghW4.20421$T41.482616@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

Worse than that, I think, Merrie, because SS went on to say "mommy’s going to straighten it out" – and since SO agreed to the trade for the weekend, now SS thinks maybe mommy can "fix" it for him.  So I’m afraid of two things: 1. When SS figures out mommy can’t change it, his reaction to her – he

wants

this, she’s powerless to give it to him.  I mean, even if she appeals, the order goes into effect.  Dad’s reinforced as the central power figure. 2. Mom feels like Dad’s "victim" – she has said this repeatedly and loudly to everyone she can think of.  Now she has a way to influence SS to feel

the

same way – "oh no, we have to do what big mean daddy says, aren’t we so

sad

together" – dad’s reinforced as the central power figure. I mean Christ, I love SO a lot, but he’s just a guy.  If he were the power mongering maniac BM likes to paint him as, none of this would be happening right now.  Sheesh. bad day )-:  I’m so tired of this bullshit.

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What was the old saying?  Use a pun – go to jail. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<T.C.

wrote in message news:3929e1c7.169908983@enews.newsguy.com… I’m so Punny.  I should be pun-ished. -TC tech.nospam.c…@newsguy.com

Response:

I have two very large dogs that I have to ‘clean up after’ and usually deposit  this evidence in the back corner of the yard near a pile of broker tree brances.  DH said it gave a whole new meaning to "Pooh sticks."  He thought about putting a shed back there and I asked him if we could call it the "House on Pooh Corner." I’m so Punny.  I should be pun-ished.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Geri ~~~~~~~~ "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."- Anonymous ~~~~~~~~~~

Response:

T.C. wrote:

I have two very large dogs that I have to ‘clean up after’ and usually deposit  this evidence in the back corner of the yard near a pile of broker tree brances.  DH said it gave a whole new meaning to "Pooh sticks."  He thought about putting a shed back there and I asked him if we could call it the "House on Pooh Corner."

LOL! You aren’t alone in your punnies! We had 2 Old English Sheep Dogs and 2 Malteeses at one point . The area of our back yard they used as their bathroom was dubbed *Pooh Corner* by my kids.:) And guess who gets to visit *pooh corner* to clean up? Not the ones who coined the phrase in this house! Indy

Response:

rebecca wrote:

I think what you’re saying is very true, Merrie, it’s just frustrating, because BM doesn’t ever clue in that she’s creating a lot of her own problems,

Our BM has been setting herself up for YEARS for the problems that she’s having now with my SD. Three, four times a week she’d be on the phone and DH would have to "TALK TO SD!" because her mother couldn’t control her. Stupid whiny bitch, but I digress. I kept telling Chuck, "Not only is this bad for *us*, but she’s not building up any authority with SD at *all*, and in a couple of years she’s going to need it!" I mean, you have to look at the situation from SD’s point of view. She screams, yells, curses and throws things at her mother, and what’s the consequence? She gets to talk to the father that she loves and desperately wants more time with. Hmmmmm… anybody seeing anything wrong with that equation? And about a week into the cycle, BM had called twice. The next week it was four times, and it remained there for about two months. I can’t believe I’m the only one who saw an escalating situation, and figured out the reason. Anne

Response:

I think you’re right Anne – I’ve been thinking about this recently too. BM2 told us when she stayed that SD (aged 6) had stolen an antique ring and UKP30 (about USD50) from her maternal grandmother. Then she stole some chewing gum from a shop. I think BM2 is dealing with it well (she told SD if she did it again she’d be having a chat with the local ‘bobbie’ (policeman) and then her mother told her that was too harsh ?!) But I also got the impression she wanted us to deal with it too. So DH and I had a chat about not getting involved. I could see ‘talk to your Dad’ conversations coming up in the future and thought it best to nip them in the bud! Considering our status quo I’d be happy for BM2 to get our input on how to discipline SD if she was stuck. But I think as the primary parent it would serve her, SD, DH and all of us better if BM actually implemented whatever discipline was agreed. Nikki – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Anne Robotti wrote:

rebecca wrote: I think what you’re saying is very true, Merrie, it’s just frustrating, because BM doesn’t ever clue in that she’s creating a lot of her own problems, Our BM has been setting herself up for YEARS for the problems that she’s having now with my SD. Three, four times a week she’d be on the phone and DH would have to "TALK TO SD!" because her mother couldn’t control her. Stupid whiny bitch, but I digress. I kept telling Chuck, "Not only is this bad for *us*, but she’s not building up any authority with SD at *all*, and in a couple of years she’s going to need it!" I mean, you have to look at the situation from SD’s point of view. She screams, yells, curses and throws things at her mother, and what’s the consequence? She gets to talk to the father that she loves and desperately wants more time with. Hmmmmm… anybody seeing anything wrong with that equation? And about a week into the cycle, BM had called twice. The next week it was four times, and it remained there for about two months. I can’t believe I’m the only one who saw an escalating situation, and figured out the reason. Anne

Response:

    I see your point  - I think it would have been best if they could have explained the schedule change with him together… Without that, he has to piece together what his Mom said and what his Dad said.  I think it’s unfortunate for her that she chose to phrase it as "Dad changed the rules," because it leaves the impression that Mom is under Dad’s jurisdiction. Merrie rebecca <justrebec…@yahoo.com

wrote in message

news:EtdW4.14806$S31.407247@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -

Hi everyone. Well, judge ruled.  Good news for us (Yay), the horrific evaluator "will

be

assigned no further duties," (double Yay) there is no reason SS (4YO)

cannot

spend extended periods of time with SO (triple Yay).   One of the changes

is

that rather than spend every Saturday night, SS and SO receive every other weekend.  Supposed to start immediately.  Here’s what happened. -Ruling Thursday. -SO and BM agree that weekend will be hers. -Friday, she pages SO.  SS has pitched a holy hell fit, and she wants to trade a midweek for Saturday.  SO says okay. -Saturday, SS arrives.  Good mood, although after lunch says "Is it Saturday?  I want to spend every every Saturday here"  We let this one

pass.

During dinner, he turns to SO -really mad look- and says "I wanted to

spend

every Saturday here, only YOU changed the rules!"  SO says "Oh, how did I

do

that?" SS says "Mommy says daddy changed the rules and I can’t come here anymore on Saturdays." SO and SS have a long chat (some at dinner, some later) about all the things they can do together now that they have more time.  SS is happy about this, only comment is "but I want to see my mommy too"  SO reassures SS that he’ll be with mommy whenever he’s not with

daddy.

ug.  How can she put that kid so smack dab in the middle of this?

Thoughts?

Advice? rebecca

Response:

Question:

I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

I think proposing over a nice romantic dinner would be great, you can worry about the ring later.  If you let her go ring shopping with you, you can look at wedding bands at the same time, and she might find a set of some kind that she likes, or what have you.  I don’t think the ring is important though… I think letting the woman you love know you’re ready to commit *for life* is the most incredible moment, and ring or not, you’ll do fine. Tamara – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

You make it awfully hard to answer you personally with that address, so here goes: There are two schools of thought about an engagement ring, so the decision depends on how you feel about it and how you THINK she will feel. 1. Some guys/women think it is VERY romantic to propose and pull a little ring box out of your pocket at the same time.  These folks don’t "feel" engaged till they have seen that diamond on her finger. 2. Others (Include me here.) think that they/she would be a lot happier wearing an engagement ring she loved because it was her style and she had helped select it.  (I have very tailored, classic taste, a conservative New Englander, and a big, glitzy ring wouldn’t be my choice.)  You are officially engaged in this scenario because you asked and she said "yes". It’s still up to you, and you’ll undoubtedly get LOTS of conflicting opinions on the ‘Net. gloria p

Response:

If you’re not sure, be sure that you can return the ring!  As far as sizing, does she have a ring or 2 that you could sneak out of the house and have them take a sizing from that?   And if you don’t have it sized correctly, no big deal.  Sometimes it’s just as touching that the ring didn’t go right on the ring finger immediately, because it’s a surprise.

Response:

Engagement rings are usually a major purchase and something your bride to be will wear for a very long time. She should have as much input as you feel comfortable with. I chose my ring, so the engagement wasn’t a surprise but the proposal was still wonderful and a highlight of my life. Jen to Paul 9/24/2000

Response:

I was proposed to by the waterfall that was his favorite place and is now OUR fav. place. he had a bubblegum ring for me. I chose not to get an engagment ring. I don’t like diamonds nor anything that rises above a plain ring. WE chose our wedding bands together, about 2 weeks before we eloped. The stress of planning a wedding became too much for me. Good luck. Just make it special for the two of you. I had always dreamed of being proposed to  by a waterfall and never told him. but he did it anyway because it was such a special place for us after we met. My plan when I get pg is to take him there to tell him. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

        Any of these are acceptable.  You need to know your girlfriend well enough to know whether she’d rather be in on choosing her ring or if she’d rather be surprised.  If you’re surprising her, make sure you can return the ring if necessary.  You may need to do some sleuthing to determine her ring size.  You might enlist the aid of one of her relatives or roomates to weasel it out of her, or you might sneak a ring she has away to find out the size (make sure it’s a ring she wears on the appropriate finger if you do this).  But really, most rings can be sized after the fact, so you don’t absolutely need to know her size in advance to buy the ring.         Sorry, but etiquette isn’t going to help you much here–you need to know your girlfriend well to come up with the best possible engagement strategy Best wishes, Ericka Kammerer

Response:

I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

It really depends on your girlfriend. You do know her best. If you’re really wanting to surprise her with ring and all, you might want to talk to a jeweler and see if they have an exchange policy. That way, you can surprise her with a ring, but if she prefers a different style, it is still possible. Jennifer (and Brian) July 15, 2000

Response:

Whatever you do, just be more romantic than my wonderful hubby… We were out having dinner at an inn in WV, and over dessert he was quiet for a moment, then said, "Well, you know the question and I know the answer, so I suppose that’s it." The following week we went out and bought an engagement ring. I suppose it was sorta anticlimactic because we were living together at the time and most of our friends had considered us married for quite some time, and there were several who were shocked: "But… but… I thought you were already married!!" Congratulations!!! There are a ton of books/websites out there with ideas on how to do a romantic proposal. Personally, I’d hire a skywriter. Or maybe buy some commercial time on TV. –Welmoed

Response:

I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

My suggestion is to go somewhere where you can be alone and which will be a special place to remember fondly in the future. Don’t worry about a ring until she’s accepted. (She will won’t she?) )  Sorry, I couldn’t resist that… Actually, my feeling is that an engagment ring should be chosen together. It’s something we will usually wear for a long time so it is nice when we like it for aesthetic reasons as well as the romantic ones. That’s me, though. Your gf may like a surprise, so see if you can sound her out on the idea. I hope it all goes beautifully for you, good luck, Callai

Response:

You probably have some kind of idea what your girlfriend would like, ring-wise, and place-wise. There is no right or wrong way to do it……just trust your instincts…. My husband bought the ring before he proposed, and about a week before he did, we were wandering in a mall, and I stopped to look at the rings in a mall  jewelry store, I pointed to the solitaires and said, Oh, I cant stand those ugly things! Needless to say, he went back to the place he bought my ring , and had it redesigned for me….. and carried it in  his sock all evening in my living room, and proposed in between periods while watching the Stanley Cup! alyson – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

I think that in this day and age it is perfectly acceptable to wait until the young lady decides to  ask you. Why should us (H) men feel we have the right to ask ??? dave —                  ~wedding-service~  UK http://www.wedding-service.co.uk

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas. You make it awfully hard to answer you personally with that address, so here goes: There are two schools of thought about an engagement ring, so the decision depends on how you feel about it and how you THINK she will feel. 1. Some guys/women think it is VERY romantic to propose and pull a little ring box out of your pocket at the same time.  These folks don’t "feel" engaged till they have seen that diamond on her finger. 2. Others (Include me here.) think that they/she would be a lot happier wearing an engagement ring she loved because it was her style and she had helped select it.  (I have very tailored, classic taste, a conservative New Englander, and a big, glitzy ring wouldn’t be my choice.)  You are officially engaged in this scenario because you asked and she said "yes". It’s still up to you, and you’ll undoubtedly get LOTS of conflicting opinions on the ‘Net. gloria p

Response:

My fiance and I shopped for rings approximately 6 months prior to the proposal. He proposed to me on the balcony of our hotel room at the Opryland hotel in TN. (We are from WI.)  It was the most romantic thing I could have imagined and I honestly didn’t suspect a thing till he got down on his knee.  My point is that even though I had an idea of the ring and that he was going to propose it was still very special.  He also got a center diamond to fit in the ring that was the highest color and twice the size of what we decided on. Jen and Mark-(who is also getting a 1 ct total diamond band) September 16, 2000 Wisconsin – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

We already knew we were going to be married, as you do, without ever actually saying so.  We would stop by the jewelry stores at the mall, and just ‘look for fun’.  We even had her finger sized, ‘just in case’ somewhere sometime down the road we might maybe decide to sorta possibly get engaged. This way I knew what she liked. I did the whole one knee and present the ring in a box thing at a fancy restaurant sometime later. When she said yes, the people at the other tables clapped.  Looking back, I wish I would have done something a little more original, but she seemed to like it. Amused

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

C’mon…  They don’t have mountains in Mississippi.  :)

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’ll chime in with one more "it depends on what your girlfriend would like." My husband proposed to me while we were backpacking on top of one of the highest mountains east of the Mississippi. No ring, it would have been overshadowed by the view anyway (he had a feeling that I might not want an engagement ring, and he was right) I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

   Sorry, but etiquette isn’t going to help you much here–you need to know your girlfriend well to come up with the best possible engagement strategy

Agreed – a few ways to figure this out. Does your girlfriend prefer surprises? Or does she have very specific tastes? Does she even like jewelry for that matter? Does she talk about her "dreams" for a proposal? (Note, she may not with you, might help to ask a friend of hers) My fiance proposed w/o a ring, and I’m very glad he did. While he probably would have picked out the same thing I did, it was easier and more fun to shop together, and though a very keen negotiator/bargainer, he probably would have been sucked into the typical salesperson’s line of "Oh, she will want something bigger!’ and would have spent too much. It was comforting to him -tho probably not to the salespeople – when I kept saying "no, smaller/less expensive." Since my tastes tended towards a more antique-style setting, he probably also would have hesitated to buy a "second-hand" (antique) ring w/o my saying that is what I wanted.  In the end he did surprise me though – he wanted to do a formal proposal after the informal one. We had picked out 3 rings,he knew which I liked best, but it was slightly out of our price range, and I told him I’d rather he didn’t get it unless he could bargain it down to our range. He told me that didn’t work, no bargaining, and the ring he did get wouldn’t be ready (had to be sized) until the following week – when he’d have already left the country. So, while expecting a romantic weekend, I wasn’t expecting a ring proposal. Good story, because he really did get our favourite ring (at the right price too!) and it was available, so I was completely surprised, which is always fun too (btw- while we were engaged pre-ring – when I said yes, he didn’t want to formally announce it til after he gave me the ring) — Cherise Before you buy.

Response:

My hubby and I went to a jewelry store and were looking, we had done this quite a bit, just dreaming (I once tried on a diamond that cost over $10,000 when I realized how much it was I wanted it off right away:) lol) anyway, he took note of my size and I told him "I really love this one".  It turns out a couple of weeks later he went and got that ring and then when we went out to a karioke (sp) place, he sang Randy Travis Forever and ever Amen, then proposed to me.  It was wonderful. Pam .

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

hmmm…do you have any idea what she likes? Maybe drop a few hints and try and figure if she wants you to get a ring, or pick it out together. Personnally, my dh picked out the ring himself, and when he asked me to marry him, he put the ring on my finger,,later he told me that if I didn’t like it that we could pick another one out. I had to get it resized to fit my finger but I loved the ring. I also loved how he bought it before hand, and surprised me with it. I loved the old movies where the man surprises the women with a ring, and she holds  her hand up showing everyone the big surprise……anyways, lol, I liked the fact that I didn’t know what the ring looked like. I guess I am lucky I like his taste in rings, because we had never discussed wedding rings before he gave the engagement ring. momalot – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy a ring? Confused in Dallas.

Response:

I was proposed to by the waterfall that was his favorite place and is now OUR fav. place. he had a bubblegum ring for me. I chose not to get an engagment ring. I don’t like diamonds nor anything that rises above a plain ring. WE chose our wedding bands together, about 2 weeks before we eloped. The stress of planning a wedding became too much for me. Good luck. Just make it special for the two of you. I had always dreamed of being proposed to  by a waterfall and never told him. but he did it anyway because it was such a special place for us after we met. My plan when I get pg is to take him there to tell him.

That  is such a nice story … if your husband reads this group and if the two of you still go to your special place, will he be able to take the stress of wondering if this is the time you will be making the announcement?  <smile Floridanewbie

Response:

Propose first, then shop for the ring together. I’ve always thought that it was a bit presumptuous to buy the engagement ring ahead of time. It looks romantic in the movies, but what does it say about equality in the relationship? This is jewelry that she will be wearing for a lifetime. Shouldn’t she help to pick it out? I think that shopping for a ring is one of those things that should be done together, as a couple. — Sourdough sez: "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."  Henry Ford

| I am going to propose to my girlfriend and I have no doubt that she | will accept. What I do not know is how to do it properly, ie, should I | buy a wedding ring beforehand? Or should we shop with her together? I | suppose that the ring needs to be fitted on her? Or, can we skip the | ring thing altogether so that I would simply propose and then we’ll buy | a ring? Confused in Dallas. |

Response:

I’ve always thought that it was a bit presumptuous to buy the engagement ring ahead of time. It looks romantic in the movies, but what does it say about equality in the relationship? This is jewelry that she will be wearing for a lifetime. Shouldn’t she help to pick it out? I think that shopping for a ring is one of those things that should be done together, as a couple.

My wife and I shopped together.  I didn’t have my checkbook handy, and she put the $100 deposit down.  I did pick up the rest of the cost after the stone was put into the setting.  We still have an in-joke how I "owe her" that $100 (and it WAS more than $200 total, for you sarcastic folks out there!). Drew

Response:

Do they HAVE mountains east of the Mississippi? How’s school? — Sourdough sez: If you’re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’ll chime in with one more "it depends on what your girlfriend would like." My husband proposed to me while we were backpacking on top of one of the highest mountains east of the Mississippi. No ring, it would have been overshadowed by the view anyway (he had a feeling that I might not want an engagement ring, and he was right)

Response:

My fiance proposed w/o a ring, and I’m very glad he did.

        Mine too.  He knew I had my heart set on a particular ring from a particular jeweler (a custom made Claddagh ring which is very unique in design–quite different from most you’d see).  Not only that, but at the time, he lived in VA and I lived in MI and the jeweler was in MI, so there was little way for him to get the ring without my knowing. Can’t even say the proposal was much of a surprise, since by the time we got engaged we all knew it was going to happen sooner or later and we only had so many opportunities to be together, what with the long distance thing and all  So, no surprises, but a very satisfying proposal nonetheless.  AND…later *I* got to surprise *him* with a matching Claddagh. Best wishes, Ericka Kammerer

Response:

Perhaps you should pay her back, with interest, at an anniversary dinner. If a lot of your friends have heard the running joke, then they would get a kick out of witnessing the payoff. I would do it with a lot of fanfare at a big, sit-down dinner. I’d write up a huge legal document for her to sign, acknowledging payment in full, with interest, and waiving all future claims, etc. We did something similar for my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. At around our tenth, I had made an offhand comment about renewing my 10 year lease that was about to expire. My Dad thought that was hilarious and started discussing openly whether or not he was going to renew his 50 year lease. He kind of overdid the joke. My Mom stopped being amused about the 50th or 60th time he repeated the line. On my parent’s 50th anniversary dinner, we had a uniformed officer deliver to my father (and read aloud) a formal document which notified him that the "lease" had expired and would not be renewed. It included a "notice to quit" and advised him that his continued tenancy was "at sufferance".  [Those are all terms in real estate law.] Everyone present had heard my Dad’s joke so often that they got a real kick out of the proceeding. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’ve always thought that it was a bit presumptuous to buy the engagement ring ahead of time. It looks romantic in the movies, but what does it say about equality in the relationship? This is jewelry that she will be wearing for a lifetime. Shouldn’t she help to pick it out? I think that shopping for a ring is one of those things that should be done together, as a couple. My wife and I shopped together.  I didn’t have my checkbook handy, and she put the $100 deposit down.  I did pick up the rest of the cost after the stone was put into the setting.  We still have an in-joke how I "owe her" that $100 (and it WAS more than $200 total, for you sarcastic folks out there!). Drew

Response:

Perhaps you should pay her back, with interest, at an anniversary dinner. If a lot of your friends have heard the running joke, then they would get a kick out of witnessing the payoff. I would do it with a lot of fanfare at a big, sit-down dinner. I’d write up a huge legal document for her to sign, acknowledging payment in full, with interest, and waiving all future claims, etc.

Hey, that’s a good idea!  It would be pretty funny. I’d have to do it in our hometown in order to maximize the friends at the dinner, but its doable.   Drew

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