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I’ll be interested in seeing the responses.  We may use our housekeys as they represent something that we have worked very hard for and we will continue to work on.

Not that it’s really any of my business, but I’m not sure I like the emphasis here.  Traditionally, the ring is supposed to symbolize endless love (by being an unending object).  With the housekeys, you’re symbolizing your house, a material object.  It seems that the thing that you want to symbolize during a wedding is your relationship, which should be the single most important thing that you both "continue to work on".  After all, if your house burns down or you both for some reason should become homeless, your love and commitment for each other should still carry on. I’d be for the keys idea if you used a generic key to somehow symbolize your relationship (giving each other the keys to your hearts/lives, for example). -Tim (& Cathy, 10/9/99) Before you buy.

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No, I’m not (to my knowledge at least) allergic to platinum, though that doesn’t solve the issue of him being unable to wear rings.  Any other ideas?

While we have no physical reason not to, we just don’t wear rings. Neither of us wear jewelry very often at all, so rings are just not high up on our list of stuff to spend money on. There’s a good chance that we’ll use our house keys on nice key rings as a sign of our commitment to each other. Heck, it’s a 30 year mortgage and we’re both over 30.  It’s a fairly close approximation of "’til death do us part." We may simply forgo the whole ring blessing, but as soon as we join a congregation we’ll have our home blessed. For you, there’s also the option of doing a single ring ceremony, with him giving you a ring and that’s it, or even the option of a double ring ceremony with you exchanging rings and him just keeping it as a sign of your love and fidelity but rather than wearing it on his finger, it stays in a safe deposit box and your family would have a new heirloom.

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We are shopping for a platinum wedding band set and we’re not sure about the difference between Platinum 950 and Platinum 900.  If you are a jeweler who deals with Platinum, i would greatly appreciate the 1. Which is better PT 950 or PT 900?  Why? 2. What is the best metal to bond with Platinum(i.e. the 5% or 10% of the other metal that is used to create the PT 950 or the PT 900)? 3. What is the general thickness(not width) of a Platinum ring?  So far we’re seeing 2mm thickness.  Is that the norm? 4. Where should we shop to get the best value? Before you buy.

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We are shopping for a platinum wedding band set and we’re not sure about the difference between Platinum 950 and Platinum 900.  If you are a jeweler who deals with Platinum, i would greatly appreciate the 1. Which is better PT 950 or PT 900?  Why? 2. What is the best metal to bond with Platinum(i.e. the 5% or 10% of the other metal that is used to create the PT 950 or the PT 900)? 3. What is the general thickness(not width) of a Platinum ring?  So far we’re seeing 2mm thickness.  Is that the norm? 4. Where should we shop to get the best value? Before you buy.

Hi… In the U.S., platinum is marked PT, or plat. In Europe, PT950 or 950. I’ve never seen PT900. The platinum group of metals is composed of: platinum, palladium, iridium, osmium, rhodium, and ruthenium. Most platinum jewelry contains small amounts of iridium and ruthenium for added strength. Platinum is a wonderful, pure metal and rarely causes allergic reactions. It is wonderful for mounting colorless or near-colorless diamonds because of its pliability. As far as median width? I have no idea. But it’s easy to shop for: Just know the size of the ring, the width, and the weight you prefer. Compare apples to apples and see who offers the best price. All the best, Deb McCoy. Visit my website: www.debmccoy.com for quizzes, fun, info, 2nd-wedding info, create your own announcements, FREE bride’s classified–and more.    

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Okay, question for all of you: My live-in and I are planning on being married in January.  There’s only one problem: neither of us can wear rings!  He’s anemic with poor circulation, and I’m allergic to virtually every metal except for surgical stainless steel (I know–I’m pierced!).  My question is this: is there any other traditional token the two of us could exchange other than a ring?  Any suggestions?

I’ll be interested in seeing the responses.  We may use our housekeys as they represent something that we have worked very hard for and we will continue to work on.

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There’s only one problem: neither of us can wear rings!  He’s anemic with poor circulation, and I’m allergic to virtually every metal except for surgical stainless steel (I know–I’m pierced!).  My question is this: is there any other traditional token the two of us could exchange other than a ring?  Any suggestions? Anathema

My jeweler made bracelets for one couple.  If you can wear jewelry other than rings, a bracelet, earring, pin or pendant might work. If your goal is to have a token to exchange on the wedding day, but you’re not so concerned about something durable enough to wear every day, you could wear a ring made from a semiprecious gemstone — it is possible to buy simple band rings carved wholly from hematite, onyx, carnelian, and other stones — or from wood.  Doesn’t solve the groom’s problem, but perhaps he could wear a neck chain or bracelet.  And of course it’s perfectly traditional for the groom to not have a ring. I also recall the idea of a tattooed ring coming up a while ago…it was mostly a joke, but if you’re the tattoo type it might appeal. Holly

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There’s only one problem: neither of us can wear rings!  He’s anemic with poor circulation, and I’m allergic to virtually every metal except for surgical stainless steel (I know–I’m pierced!).  My question is this: is there any other traditional token the two of us could exchange other than a ring?  Any suggestions? Anathema

As to metals, are you allergic to platinum? It’s rarer than gold and so many people don’t even come to think about it when talking about jewellery. The platinum used in jewellery is also in most cases purer than e.g. gold and thus less likely to cause allergic reactions. It’s also a lot more expensive, too… Ritva.

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I am allergic to gold and white gold but can wear platinum with no problem.  I can wear some silver too, but I really wanted a platimun ring Where there is a will there’s a way!  Good luck! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There’s only one problem: neither of us can wear rings!  He’s anemic with poor circulation, and I’m allergic to virtually every metal except for surgical stainless steel (I know–I’m pierced!).  My question is this: is there any other traditional token the two of us could exchange other than a ring? Any suggestions? Anathema As to metals, are you allergic to platinum? It’s rarer than gold and so many people don’t even come to think about it when talking about jewellery. The platinum used in jewellery is also in most cases purer than e.g. gold and thus less likely to cause allergic reactions. It’s also a lot more expensive, too… Ritva.

– Season www.geocities.com/~sdgard Before you buy.

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As to metals, are you allergic to platinum? It’s rarer than gold and so many people don’t even come to think about it when talking about jewellery. The platinum used in jewellery is also in most cases purer than e.g. gold and thus less likely to cause allergic reactions. It’s also a lot more expensive, too… Ritva.

No, I’m not (to my knowledge at least) allergic to platinum, though that doesn’t solve the issue of him being unable to wear rings.  Any other ideas?

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No, I’m not (to my knowledge at least) allergic to platinum, though that doesn’t solve the issue of him being unable to wear rings.  Any other ideas?

No, it doesn’t solve the problem for your fiance, I just wanted to point out that your choice of precious metals isn’t limited to gold and silver. What about a pendant for both of you? We got greenstone pendants with the same motive on our honeymoon to New Zealand, and  I think it’s quite cool, actually. My husband’s never worn any jewellery (the engament ring was a big step for him in that respect) but he’s now wearing the pendant almost every day. Also, I don’t think it’s a must for you both to have the same jewellery, while you could have a ring, he could have something else. If you decide to go for platinum, you might have to reserve time for having your jewellery made as platinum ones might not be available as readily as gold and silver. At least for us that was the case (our rings are platinum), but then we’re in Finland where gold dominates even more than in, say the U.K. One more thing about platinum: since even it isn’t 100% pure in jewellery (I think it generally comes in 95% and 99% purity) you probably should ask what other metals are used in the mix (usually either palladium or silver, I think). Ritva.

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Okay, question for all of you: My live-in and I are planning on being married in January.  There’s only one problem: neither of us can wear rings!  He’s anemic with poor circulation, and I’m allergic to virtually every metal except for surgical stainless steel (I know–I’m pierced!).  My question is this: is there any other traditional token the two of us could exchange other than a ring?  Any suggestions? Anathema

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Question:

Well, I bought my hubby-to-be an engagement ring for Christmas.  It seemed only fair as I had been wearing mine since August!   As he’s a very traditional Englishman, I bought him a plain gold signet ring, and had his initials inscribed on it.  It’s solid, comfort fit, and fairly inexpensive, about $350 US.  He wears it on his ring finger, left hand, and will switch it to his right when we get our wedding bands.  I like that he’s wearing something from me that screams "I’m taken!"  (Possessive?  Moi?  Whatever gave you that idea?) He likes it to — says that his friends are asking him about it, and as we are so far apart (He is in London, I’m in New York) he says that it’s nice to have something right there that I gave him.  I like that too. As long as you take your man’s taste into account, he should be thrilled! Cheers – Heather

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Bostater) says: I got my fiance an Engagement ring.  Actually, it is his wedding ring, but he is wearing it now.  Most people who notice like the idea of a male engagement ring.  I like that he wears an ‘off the market’ symbol.  Now both of us have something shiney that makes us think of our love.

Julie, We never intended to get Ed an ‘engagement’ ring, but when I brought home the wedding band which I bought for him, he decided to wear it right away.  He also insisted that I start to wear my wedding band then.  So, we’ve been wearing them for about 3 months now and have only 2 days left until the wedding – 1/5/96. Regards, Donna

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According to the FAQ for this group, it’s customary in some countries; (they didn’t say which) for the men to wear their wedding rings on their other hand as an engagement ring.  That’s what I’m doing.  The only problem is that I’m left handed and the fingers on my right hand are almost a full size smaller.:-(

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I don’t think I’ve seen anyone mention this – but in last month’s issue of one of the major American bridal magazines (I think it was _Modern Bride_, but don’t hold me to that) – there was a full page advertisement for MEN’S wedding band SETS. Yes – two rings that fit together as one… the larger one (usually with a diamond) to be worn as the engagement ring, and a thinner gold band to be added on the wedding day.  Some of the designs I didn’t like personally — but I was happy to see the ad all the same…..I think I might try to design my soon-to-be fiance’s ring along the same principle..

My fiance and I exchanged engagement rings — both of us have rings that are part of a "set" — the wedding ring actually fits INTO the engagement ring.  (Think backwards from women’s wedding sets — the "wrap" is actually a neat ring unto itself.)  We found an artist who was quite willing to work with us on design, and a gemstone dealer who gave us a good deal on the star sapphires that we used as the main stones.  Tim and I have rings that are quite similar, but mine is slightly more "feminine" (has the curves, and diamond baguettes from my mom’s engagement ring). Feedback has been generally positive.  I got one "but that’s not an engagement ring!" (from someone who maintained that they had to be solitaires).  Most responses were along the lines of "I wish that *I* had an engagement ring!" from prospective and current husbands, and curiosity from a few vendors (you presented the ring to him over brunch?!?) We, of course, think that engagement rings for men are a pretty cool idea.  =) — Laura (marrying Tim on 1 June 1996 … less than 5 months away!)

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Offered fer yer consideration: Well, let me offer a word of advise here for those seeking to "suprise"" their favorite male with a wedding ring…  It’s hard to beat the classics… For an active person the comfort-fit rings are the ones you should go take a look at first…  …those other cheap thin machined band rings are real "purdy" to look at but with a 90 degree edge they are generally the pits to wear! The fancy machined finish also is generally white (Rhodium) plated and begins to wear off about as fast as it takes yer check to clear the bank too…  An active guy and destroy these delicate patterns easily in short order too…  They may be really cheap, but sometimes you get what ya pay for Remember that this is going to be worn daily, so you want it to be a comfortable as possible, or he simply ain’t gonna wear it much… The comfort-fits are cool because they are rounded inside as well as outside, making the edge roll and become very comfortable…  You’ve probably heard that these are much more expensive, which is bunk actually!  They are only a bit heavier and remember that 24Kt gold is less than $400 per ounce soooo… A 10-DWT (half ounce) fine quality comfort-fit band for a gent (size 10?) in 14kt does not contain a fortune in metal…  Here’s an example {Grin}… (Fine gold=$400 per ounce x .585 (14Kt) = $234.00 per ounce of 14Kt) So, using this one can quickly see that in that theoretical 10-Dwt band there is but $117.00 worth of material in this ring, and most band rings are actually die struck by machines and you can safely assume that this is a very low cost process…   Take for example a size ten 8mm comfort-fit 14Kt yellow gold band ring only costs about $200-$250 Max, and that’s for a high quality die struck ring which has a perfectly "perfect" surface finish…  …and even a fine platinum version of these wonderful rings can be made for $400-$500… But the key here is that while the comfort-fit is heavier the extra metal only represents a few extra bucks in the real world, so they are not much more expensive and do resist bending and distortion much better than a standard half round ring does… ..plus an active guy can even wear them Another cool things about comfort-fits is that "there is little to hate"… A classic standard is both elegant and affordable, but start adding a machined finish and other "doo-dahs" and you narrow the number of people who’ll love it down significantly…  Classic is both cool and effective… Ray      _|/_   "Knowledge is power, be more powerful…"      (o o)     Associate Jewelers Inc.  * Est. 1975 * Design & Manufacturing   Wholesale Jewelry MFG * Union Benchworkers * Certified Diamonds  FAX (503) 226-6787 * Toll Free (800) 224 8086 * (503) 226-0408 PST   http://www.teleport.com/~raylc/       "The Fine Jewelry Web Site"

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I got my fiance an Engagement ring.  Actually, it is his wedding ring, but he is wearing it now.  Most people who notice like the idea of a male engagement ring.  I like that he wears an ‘off the market’ symbol.  Now both of us have something shiney that makes us think of our love. Julie Bostater (And Derrick) June 22, 1996

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone mention this – but in last month’s issue of one of the major American bridal magazines (I think it was _Modern Bride_, but don’t hold me to that) – there was a full page advertisement for MEN’S wedding band SETS. Yes – two rings that fit together as one… the larger one (usually with a diamond) to be worn as the engagement ring, and a thinner gold band to be added on the wedding day.  Some of the designs I didn’t like personally — but I was happy to see the ad all the same…..I think I might try to design my soon-to-be fiance’s ring along the same principle.. Cheers, Dawn and Mark September 12…..looking more and more like 1997 than 1998! — 5 November 1995 – Winner of PoohSticks Game #250….! Yeah!!

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           It’s too late for me, but I was just sort of curious . . . *I* proposed to my boyfriend, but I didn’t give him an engagement ring because it didn’t really seem appropriate. He’s not the kind of guy that would wear a man’s ring with diamonds in it, and he already wears a beautiful gold band that was one of two "promise rings" we exchanged on our first anniversary.             However, I think it would have been nice to have given him something to wear, but what? Has anyone been in this situation, and come up with a clever idea?

Hrm.  I know quite a few people now who are doing the guy’s engagement ring thing, so I did it myself!  I just used some plain white-gold bands from BEST Jewelry.  We might go later to pick out a "rock" for me, but I dunno. Since you’ve already given him a promise ring, if he’s already wearing it on his left ring finger, there are other gifts of jewelry that you could give a guy.  One of these would be a really nice watch, that you could have engraved after you proposed, or that you could buy for him after he proposed to you (in general).  If he dresses up a lot, perhaps a shirt with French cuffs and monogrammed cufflinks would be an equally appropriate gift. Finally, there’s always the gift of a favorite passion or hobby.  A cherished comic book, coin, model ship, model locomotive, or other colectible could be given.  OF course, you couldn’t really expect him to wear it.  :) Or, you could go with a gold or silver chain of some sort, like a Spiedel engraved bracelet or neck chain.  Not all of them are tacky, although it depends on what your guy likes. Hope that helps! kate. Newly engaged!  | Patron Saint of rec.arts.comics.marvel.xbooks, and Really Short Person |  | I have a web page! (at http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/keweizel) |  | Keeper of the RAC.MX Read Before Posting and Where Can I Find It? FAQs |

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I got my fiance an Engagement ring.  Actually, it is his wedding ring, but he is wearing it now.  Most people who notice like the idea of a male engagement ring.  I like that he wears an ‘off the market’ symbol.  Now both of us have something shiney that makes us think of our love. Julie Bostater (And Derrick) June 22, 1996

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 He’s not the kind of guy that would wear a man’s ring with diamonds in it, and he already wears a beautiful gold band that was one of two "promise rings" we exchanged on our first anniversary.              However, I think it would have been nice to have given him something to wear, but what? Has anyone been in this situation, and come up with a clever idea?

A watch, a silver ring, a gold or silver bracelet (are they called something else when they’re for men?), cufflinks/studs. Someone started a similar thread last summer and someone told how she had bought her sweetie a drill press.  (I think it was a drill press.  Maybe it was a table saw.  But you get the idea.)  She put a picture of it in a little ring box and presented that to him when she proposed. I gave Ken a silver ring, engraved with our initials (after he proposed to me).  He calls it his "training ring."  (If he forgets it somewhere or loses it down the drain, since he’s never worn jewelry before at all and is sort of absentminded about clothes and things, it won’t be such a big deal.  It only cost $10.)  I’m not sure whether he’ll wear it after he gets the wedding ring, but I certainly like seeing it there now! Holly (& Ken) 8/25/96

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I got my fiance a poster from our favorite movie in life (Three Little Words with Fred Astaire) – it’s an original from the film’s original run back in 1950 – number 55 out of over 400 prints – however, he asked me (complete surprise) a few days ago – I didn’t expect it for a few more weeks – and the poster is still in the shop being framed, so we had to go visit it, and he doesn’t "have" it yet (oh well). That’s what he gets for surprising me! Heidi (& Aaron – October 19, 1996)

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My husband does not wear jewelry (I think he only wears the wedding ring because I have threatened to have one tatooed on if he doesn’t!).  

Actually, a tattoo isn’t a bad idea!!  Permanent, more comfortable, no risk of being mugged for it… can’t lose it …  hmmm

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(snip of cute story)        As for in Europe, I am from Sweden and there it is customary that men wear an engagement ring on the right hand.

Well, not everywhere in Sweden… I’m in Sweden (born and raised a Swede and all I’ve ever seen mentioned, or discussed with friends, is that men do wear their engagement ring on their *left* hand. That’s what I consider customary (this is the Stockholm region), and what the engaged men I know do. Some university (and college) degrees come with a gold ring, which is then worn on the right hand. And when the guy is engaged (I guess some can move it when they are married instead, or use another ring entirely) he moves it to the left hand. Not that I go around asking guys that wear a ring on any hand if they are engaged Veronika

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             It’s too late for me, but I was just sort of curious . . . *I*  proposed to my boyfriend, but I didn’t give him an engagement ring because  it didn’t really seem appropriate. He’s not the kind of guy that would  wear a man’s ring with diamonds in it, and he already wears a beautiful  gold band that was one of two "promise rings" we exchanged on our first  anniversary.               However, I think it would have been nice to have given him  something to wear, but what? Has anyone been in this situation, and come  up with a clever idea?

I am the sort who wouldn’t mind wearing an engagement ring, but Joy actually bought me a really nice handcarved wooden fountain pen, ballpen and pencil set. Which I use all the time and is a beautiful reminder of our Love. My brother actually wears a ring, that he will swap to his other hand when they are married. Peter and Joy 26/1/96 (And worrying what we’ve forgotten)

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             It’s too late for me, but I was just sort of curious . . . *I*  proposed to my boyfriend, but I didn’t give him an engagement ring because  it didn’t really seem appropriate. He’s not the kind of guy that would  wear a man’s ring with diamonds in it, and he already wears a beautiful  gold band that was one of two "promise rings" we exchanged on our first  anniversary.               However, I think it would have been nice to have given him  something to wear, but what? Has anyone been in this situation, and come  up with a clever idea?  Gaelen  **July 12, 1996**  **in beautiful malibu, ca**

I come across this situation more often than you might think. There are many men out there, including myself, who do not like to wear rings. A nice watch is very often the answer. A man often does not spend on himself that which he would spend on his fiancee. Hope this helps. Benjamin Mark          –TYLER-ADAM CORP.– Manufacturers and Wholesalers Direct     Exquisite Jewelry  Web  Site      http://www.tyler-adam.com   Call Toll Free:  1-800-20-TYLER                 or         1-212-921-8365 E.S.T.           FAX: 212-221-3512                 or

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