Question:
As a public service, then, I am offering my much-shortened screenplay which some ambitious film-maker can feel free to use as the script for a shorter version of " Titanic." All I want in return is a lot of money. (Scene 1) KATE WINSLET: Why, this is a fancy boat, isn’t it? KATE’S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named "Picasso." I am certain he will amount to nothing. KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our ’90s audience, because of course Picasso later amounted to quite a bit, after this boat sank. LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the worship of me. You are very pretty. KATE: Thank you. So are you. LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going to put on my "brooding" face now, to ensure that women will keep coming back again and again to see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be soaking wet. KATE: While you’re doing that, I will concentrate on standing here and looking pretty, to keep the men in the audience interested until the boat sinks and people start dying. WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me. I do not like you, Leonardo, even though you saved my fiancee’s life. I am going to sneer at you and treat you like dirt because you’re poor, and then I’ll probably be physically abusive to my fiancee, and then, just to make sure the audience really hates me, and to make sure my character is entirely one-dimensional, perhaps I’ll throw an elderly person into the water. AUDIENCE: Boo! We hate you! Even though all real people have at least a few admirable qualities, we have not been shown any of yours, and plus, you’re trying to come between Leonardo and Kate, and so therefore we hate you! Boo! (Even though technically it is Leonardo who is coming between you and Kate. But Leonardo is handsomer than you, even though he is only 13, so we are on his side. Boo!) * * * (Scene 2) LEONARDO: I’m glad we snuck away like this so that you could cheat on your fiancee. KATE: So am I. Even though I am engaged to him and have made a commitment to marry him, that is no reason why you and I cannot climb into the backseat of a car and steam up the windows together. The fact that I am the heroine of the movie will no doubt help the cattle-like audience forgive me of this, though they would probably be VERY angry indeed if my fiance were to do the same thing to me. AUDIENCE: Darn straight we would! Moo! We mean, Boo! LEONARDO: I agree. First I would like to draw you, though, so of course you will have to take off all your clothes. KATE: But can a movie with five minutes of continuous nudity be at all successful in, say, Provo, Utah, where the audiences might not stand for that sort of thing? LEONARDO: I would be willing to bet that for the first three weeks the film is in release, every single showing at Wynnsong Theatre in Provo will sell out. NARRATOR: According to Wynnsong manager Matt Palmer, that is exactly what happened. KATE: All right, then. (sound of clothes hitting the floor) * * * (Scene 3) FIRST MATE: Captain, we’re about to hit an iceberg. CAPTAIN: Great, I could use some ice for my drink. (sound of drinking) ICEBERG: (hits boat) FIRST MATE: That can’t be good. CAPTAIN: Bottoms up! AUDIENCE: (silence) FIRST MATE: That was irony, you fools. AUDIENCE: Baa! Moo! Where’s Leonardo? * * * (Scene 4) LEONARDO: I have been informed that this boat is sinking. KATE: That is terrible. LEONARDO: Would you like to engage in some more immoral-but-justified behavior? KATE: Certainly. WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me, I- AUDIENCE: Boo! Boo! WEASELLY FIANCE: (aside) I’m getting the raw end of the deal here. (to Leonardo) Listen, Leonardo, to cement my morally-dubious-yet-somehow- less-annoying-than-you personality, I am going to handcuff you to this pipe, here in a room that will soon be filling with water, due to the fact that we are sinking, which I believe has been mentioned previously. LEONARDO: Why don’t you just shoot me? WEASELLY FIANCE: Because then you wouldn’t be able to escape and save Kate from me. Of course, you’re going to die anyway- AUDIENCE: Don’t spoil it for us! Boo! LEONARDO: He’s right, though. I am doomed. AUDIENCE: Aww, look how cute he is when he’s doomed. WEASELLY FIANCE: I hate you people. * * * (Scene 5) 150-YEAR-OLD KATE: And that’s when Leonardo rescued me from my evil fiance and helped me float on a board in the water. Of course, if it hadn’t been for having to rescue HIM, I could have gotten on an actual lifeboat, and not frozen my legs nearly off. Anyway, he’s pretty much dead now, and I’m well over a thousand years old, and who’s making my supper? I need a bath. Turn down that Enya music, it’s making my ears hurt. You kids today, with your loud music. Why, when I was-hey! Don’t you walk away from me, Mr. Snooty-Patootie! I’d turn you over my knee, if I had one. I’ll beat you in the head with this huge diamond! Come back here! (Fade to black; roll credits; play annoying Celine Dion song.) The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
someone has way too much time on their hands – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – As a public service, then, I am offering my much-shortened screenplay which some ambitious film-maker can feel free to use as the script for a shorter version of " Titanic." All I want in return is a lot of money. (Scene 1) KATE WINSLET: Why, this is a fancy boat, isn’t it? KATE’S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named "Picasso." I am certain he will amount to nothing. KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our ’90s audience, because of course Picasso later amounted to quite a bit, after this boat sank. LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the worship of me. You are very pretty. KATE: Thank you. So are you. LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going to put on my "brooding" face now, to ensure that women will keep coming back again and again to see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be soaking wet. KATE: While you’re doing that, I will concentrate on standing here and looking pretty, to keep the men in the audience interested until the boat sinks and people start dying. WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me. I do not like you, Leonardo, even though you saved my fiancee’s life. I am going to sneer at you and treat you like dirt because you’re poor, and then I’ll probably be physically abusive to my fiancee, and then, just to make sure the audience really hates me, and to make sure my character is entirely one-dimensional, perhaps I’ll throw an elderly person into the water. AUDIENCE: Boo! We hate you! Even though all real people have at least a few admirable qualities, we have not been shown any of yours, and plus, you’re trying to come between Leonardo and Kate, and so therefore we hate you! Boo! (Even though technically it is Leonardo who is coming between you and Kate. But Leonardo is handsomer than you, even though he is only 13, so we are on his side. Boo!) * * * (Scene 2) LEONARDO: I’m glad we snuck away like this so that you could cheat on your fiancee. KATE: So am I. Even though I am engaged to him and have made a commitment to marry him, that is no reason why you and I cannot climb into the backseat of a car and steam up the windows together. The fact that I am the heroine of the movie will no doubt help the cattle-like audience forgive me of this, though they would probably be VERY angry indeed if my fiance were to do the same thing to me. AUDIENCE: Darn straight we would! Moo! We mean, Boo! LEONARDO: I agree. First I would like to draw you, though, so of course you will have to take off all your clothes. KATE: But can a movie with five minutes of continuous nudity be at all successful in, say, Provo, Utah, where the audiences might not stand for that sort of thing? LEONARDO: I would be willing to bet that for the first three weeks the film is in release, every single showing at Wynnsong Theatre in Provo will sell out. NARRATOR: According to Wynnsong manager Matt Palmer, that is exactly what happened. KATE: All right, then. (sound of clothes hitting the floor) * * * (Scene 3) FIRST MATE: Captain, we’re about to hit an iceberg. CAPTAIN: Great, I could use some ice for my drink. (sound of drinking) ICEBERG: (hits boat) FIRST MATE: That can’t be good. CAPTAIN: Bottoms up! AUDIENCE: (silence) FIRST MATE: That was irony, you fools. AUDIENCE: Baa! Moo! Where’s Leonardo? * * * (Scene 4) LEONARDO: I have been informed that this boat is sinking. KATE: That is terrible. LEONARDO: Would you like to engage in some more immoral-but-justified behavior? KATE: Certainly. WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me, I- AUDIENCE: Boo! Boo! WEASELLY FIANCE: (aside) I’m getting the raw end of the deal here. (to Leonardo) Listen, Leonardo, to cement my morally-dubious-yet-somehow- less-annoying-than-you personality, I am going to handcuff you to this pipe, here in a room that will soon be filling with water, due to the fact that we are sinking, which I believe has been mentioned previously. LEONARDO: Why don’t you just shoot me? WEASELLY FIANCE: Because then you wouldn’t be able to escape and save Kate from me. Of course, you’re going to die anyway- AUDIENCE: Don’t spoil it for us! Boo! LEONARDO: He’s right, though. I am doomed. AUDIENCE: Aww, look how cute he is when he’s doomed. WEASELLY FIANCE: I hate you people. * * * (Scene 5) 150-YEAR-OLD KATE: And that’s when Leonardo rescued me from my evil fiance and helped me float on a board in the water. Of course, if it hadn’t been for having to rescue HIM, I could have gotten on an actual lifeboat, and not frozen my legs nearly off. Anyway, he’s pretty much dead now, and I’m well over a thousand years old, and who’s making my supper? I need a bath. Turn down that Enya music, it’s making my ears hurt. You kids today, with your loud music. Why, when I was-hey! Don’t you walk away from me, Mr. Snooty-Patootie! I’d turn you over my knee, if I had one. I’ll beat you in the head with this huge diamond! Come back here! (Fade to black; roll credits; play annoying Celine Dion song.) The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
someone has way too much time on their hands
"Someone" cuts and pastes in seconds. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
Hmmmmm… Cheryl… You never cease to amaze me with what you will come up with. I did like your tutorial relative to the Google search application. Never a dull moment with you around… Now if we could only resurrect our resident Carnival basher Paul. I do hope he is ok… Bill
Response:
As a public service, then, I am offering my much-shortened screenplay which some ambitious film-maker can feel free to use as the script for a shorter version of " Titanic." All I want in return is a lot of money.
cute. I watched the movie all of once myself. About 30 minutes into it, all I could think was "Ok, SINK ALREADY!" lol. Needless to say, I am in the minority as someone who hated the movie. Might have been because we watched it with my mother (never a good thing as I hate what she likes, etc… lol) So I have considered giving it a second chance. If only because Billy Zane is one of my favorite actors. And I know what Leo is capable of acting wise. (The Beach, and Whats Eating Gilbert Grape are good examples of incredible acting) But I suppose we will see
— LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
I smell Oscar!
That’s not what you smell Karen. And her name isn’t Oscar lol.
— LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
When we saw it, in the final scene when the old lady dropped the giant blue diamond into the sea, my partner couldn’t control himself and was heard through the quiet theatre as he gasped in exasperation "Graaaandma!" Mark
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – As a public service, then, I am offering my much-shortened screenplay which some ambitious film-maker can feel free to use as the script for a shorter version of " Titanic." All I want in return is a lot of money. cute. I watched the movie all of once myself. About 30 minutes into it, all I could think was "Ok, SINK ALREADY!" lol. Needless to say, I am in the minority as someone who hated the movie. Might have been because we watched it with my mother (never a good thing as I hate what she likes, etc… lol) So I have considered giving it a second chance. If only because Billy Zane is one of my favorite actors. And I know what Leo is capable of acting wise. (The Beach, and Whats Eating Gilbert Grape are good examples of incredible acting) But I suppose we will see
— LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
When we saw it, in the final scene when the old lady dropped the giant blue diamond into the sea, my partner couldn’t control himself and was heard through the quiet theatre as he gasped in exasperation "Graaaandma!" Mark
We were waiting for the great-granddaughter or whoever to come and dump her over and yell "Go get it!!" Unbelievable! And Les, I thought it was stupid, too. Chris
Response:
Yes! What the hell was she thinking??? Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We were waiting for the great-granddaughter or whoever to come and dump her over and yell "Go get it!!" Unbelievable!
Response:
Yes! What the hell was she thinking???
Jeff! It was a movie!!! — Charles
Response:
It was just one of those things! I think she should have tried to save the Picassos from going down with the ship too. Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yes! What the hell was she thinking??? Jeff! It was a movie!!!
Response:
I smell Oscar! That’s not what you smell Karen. And her name isn’t Oscar lol.
This coming from an expert on buttholes. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
Hmmmmm… Cheryl… You never cease to amaze me with what you will come up with. I did like your tutorial relative to the Google search application. Never a dull moment with you around…
Dull is dull. And don’t call me Shirley. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
cute. I watched the movie all of once myself. About 30 minutes into it, all I could think was "Ok, SINK ALREADY!" lol. Needless to say, I am in the minority as someone who hated the movie.
Fun special effects. The rest….ehhhhh. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
When we saw it, in the final scene when the old lady dropped the giant blue diamond into the sea, my partner…….
Business or sexual? The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
I smell Oscar! That’s not what you smell Karen. And her name isn’t Oscar lol.
This coming from an expert on buttholes.
I hardly think I would qualify as an expert on anything. Using your logic, what does that make you an expert on? Replying to posts with only your sig? Ummm. Starting as much crap as you can? (Ok, so maybe *I* am an expert at that too lol) Oh oh! I know! With as much as you talk about anal sex, and homosexual habits, maybe you are an expert at that? Are you really a 15 year old boy fighting with his own sexuality? (I have ran into several 15 year old high school students that post a lot like you do, thats why I ask) wtf ever lol — LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
I smell Oscar! That’s not what you smell Karen. This coming from an expert on buttholes. I hardly think I would qualify as an expert on anything.
As you wish. Using your logic, what does that make you an expert on?
A lot of things. Replying to posts with only your sig?
That apparently flies right by your rather "astute" Usenet knowledge. Ummm. Starting as much crap as you can? (Ok, so maybe *I* am an expert at that too lol)
Takes one to know one, takes one to know one. Oh oh! I know! With as much as you talk about anal sex, and homosexual habits, maybe you are an expert at that?
I am an expert in knowing that nothing that is going in my anus unless it is attached to a medical purpose. Are you really a 15 year old boy fighting with his own sexuality?
zzzzzzzzzz (I have ran into several 15 year old high school students that post a lot like you do, thats why I ask)
Leave their butts alone. Statutory offense. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
(I have ran into several 15 year old high school students that post a lot like you do, thats why I ask) Leave their butts alone. Statutory offense.
As Kid Rock says "If there’s grass on the field… play ball" lol Actually, according to the latest info site I have, the age in my state is only 13 for gay men and lesbians (which is disgusting! The age, not lesbianism lol)) and 18 for heterosexuals. It isn’t an "official site" But I have found them to be very accurate and up to date. Some of the ages for other countries are even worse
To me, after growing up in Texas, I think the age should be 18 all the way around. http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm — LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
Actually, according to the latest info site I have, the age in my state is only 13 for gay men and lesbians (which is disgusting! The age, not lesbianism lol)) and 18 for heterosexuals. It isn’t an "official site" But I have found them to be very accurate and up to date. Some of the ages for other countries are even worse
I never knew the breadth of this, Did you notice that earlier consents are are mainly aimed at those who cannot get impregnated? The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
So I’m probably the only person on Earth who hasn’t watched "Titanic" yet. Thanks for summing it up for me, CC. ….Now I don’t have bother sitting through —How many hours? Of course, I had a pretty good idea of how things would turn out anyways. Now let me see… Did Clifton Webb survive or not? …Jon
Response:
Hi Karen… That’s why I haven’t bothered watching the movie. There is no alien creature like in "The Abyss" to come to the rescue. …You automatically know, just from hearing the title that things are going to turn out bad in the end. …Jon
Response:
Hi Karen… That’s why I haven’t bothered watching the movie. There is no alien creature like in "The Abyss" to come to the rescue. …You automatically know, just from hearing the title that things are going to turn out bad in the end. …Jon
yeah, but how often do we get to see Kate Winslets boobs? Oh wait… in every movie she does lol — LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
As a public service, then, I am offering my much-shortened screenplay which some ambitious film-maker can feel free to use as the script for a shorter version of " Titanic." All I want in return is a lot of money. (Scene 1) KATE WINSLET: Why, this is a fancy boat, isn’t it? KATE’S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named "Picasso." I am certain he will amount to nothing. KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our ’90s audience, because of course Picasso later amounted to quite a bit, after this boat sank. LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the worship of me. You are very pretty. KATE: Thank you. So are you. LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going to put on my "brooding" face now, to ensure that women will keep coming back again and again to see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be soaking wet. KATE: While you’re doing that, I will concentrate on standing here and looking pretty, to keep the men in the audience interested until the boat sinks and people start dying. WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me. I do not like you, Leonardo, even though you saved my fiancee’s life. I am going to sneer at you and treat you like dirt because you’re poor, and then I’ll probably be physically abusive to my fiancee, and then, just to make sure the audience really hates me, and to make sure my character is entirely one-dimensional, perhaps I’ll throw an elderly person into the water. AUDIENCE: Boo! We hate you! Even though all real people have at least a few admirable qualities, we have not been shown any of yours, and plus, you’re trying to come between Leonardo and Kate, and so therefore we hate you! Boo! (Even though technically it is Leonardo who is coming between you and Kate. But Leonardo is handsomer than you, even though he is only 13, so we are on his side. Boo!) * * * (Scene 2) LEONARDO: I’m glad we snuck away like this so that you could cheat on your fiancee. KATE: So am I. Even though I am engaged to him and have made a commitment to marry him, that is no reason why you and I cannot climb into the backseat of a car and steam up the windows together. The fact that I am the heroine of the movie will no doubt help the cattle-like audience forgive me of this, though they would probably be VERY angry indeed if my fiance were to do the same thing to me. AUDIENCE: Darn straight we would! Moo! We mean, Boo! LEONARDO: I agree. First I would like to draw you, though, so of course you will have to take off all your clothes. KATE: But can a movie with five minutes of continuous nudity be at all successful in, say, Provo, Utah, where the audiences might not stand for that sort of thing? LEONARDO: I would be willing to bet that for the first three weeks the film is in release, every single showing at Wynnsong Theatre in Provo will sell out. NARRATOR: According to Wynnsong manager Matt Palmer, that is exactly what happened. KATE: All right, then. (sound of clothes hitting the floor) * * * (Scene 3) FIRST MATE: Captain, we’re about to hit an iceberg. CAPTAIN: Great, I could use some ice for my drink. (sound of drinking) ICEBERG: (hits boat) FIRST MATE: That can’t be good. CAPTAIN: Bottoms up! AUDIENCE: (silence) FIRST MATE: That was irony, you fools. AUDIENCE: Baa! Moo! Where’s Leonardo? * * * (Scene 4) LEONARDO: I have been informed that this boat is sinking. KATE: That is terrible. LEONARDO: Would you like to engage in some more immoral-but-justified behavior? KATE: Certainly. WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me, I- AUDIENCE: Boo! Boo! WEASELLY FIANCE: (aside) I’m getting the raw end of the deal here. (to Leonardo) Listen, Leonardo, to cement my morally-dubious-yet-somehow- less-annoying-than-you personality, I am going to handcuff you to this pipe, here in a room that will soon be filling with water, due to the fact that we are sinking, which I believe has been mentioned previously. LEONARDO: Why don’t you just shoot me? WEASELLY FIANCE: Because then you wouldn’t be able to escape and save Kate from me. Of course, you’re going to die anyway- AUDIENCE: Don’t spoil it for us! Boo! LEONARDO: He’s right, though. I am doomed. AUDIENCE: Aww, look how cute he is when he’s doomed. WEASELLY FIANCE: I hate you people. * * * (Scene 5) 150-YEAR-OLD KATE: And that’s when Leonardo rescued me from my evil fiance and helped me float on a board in the water. Of course, if it hadn’t been for having to rescue HIM, I could have gotten on an actual lifeboat, and not frozen my legs nearly off. Anyway, he’s pretty much dead now, and I’m well over a thousand years old, and who’s making my supper? I need a bath. Turn down that Enya music, it’s making my ears hurt. You kids today, with your loud music. Why, when I was-hey! Don’t you walk away from me, Mr. Snooty-Patootie! I’d turn you over my knee, if I had one. I’ll beat you in the head with this huge diamond! Come back here! (Fade to black; roll credits; play annoying Celine Dion song.) The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
someone has way too much time on their hands – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – As a public service, then, I am offering my much-shortened screenplay which some ambitious film-maker can feel free to use as the script for a shorter version of " Titanic." All I want in return is a lot of money. (Scene 1) KATE WINSLET: Why, this is a fancy boat, isn’t it? KATE’S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named "Picasso." I am certain he will amount to nothing. KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our ’90s audience, because of course Picasso later amounted to quite a bit, after this boat sank. LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the worship of me. You are very pretty. KATE: Thank you. So are you. LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going to put on my "brooding" face now, to ensure that women will keep coming back again and again to see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be soaking wet. KATE: While you’re doing that, I will concentrate on standing here and looking pretty, to keep the men in the audience interested until the boat sinks and people start dying. WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me. I do not like you, Leonardo, even though you saved my fiancee’s life. I am going to sneer at you and treat you like dirt because you’re poor, and then I’ll probably be physically abusive to my fiancee, and then, just to make sure the audience really hates me, and to make sure my character is entirely one-dimensional, perhaps I’ll throw an elderly person into the water. AUDIENCE: Boo! We hate you! Even though all real people have at least a few admirable qualities, we have not been shown any of yours, and plus, you’re trying to come between Leonardo and Kate, and so therefore we hate you! Boo! (Even though technically it is Leonardo who is coming between you and Kate. But Leonardo is handsomer than you, even though he is only 13, so we are on his side. Boo!) * * * (Scene 2) LEONARDO: I’m glad we snuck away like this so that you could cheat on your fiancee. KATE: So am I. Even though I am engaged to him and have made a commitment to marry him, that is no reason why you and I cannot climb into the backseat of a car and steam up the windows together. The fact that I am the heroine of the movie will no doubt help the cattle-like audience forgive me of this, though they would probably be VERY angry indeed if my fiance were to do the same thing to me. AUDIENCE: Darn straight we would! Moo! We mean, Boo! LEONARDO: I agree. First I would like to draw you, though, so of course you will have to take off all your clothes. KATE: But can a movie with five minutes of continuous nudity be at all successful in, say, Provo, Utah, where the audiences might not stand for that sort of thing? LEONARDO: I would be willing to bet that for the first three weeks the film is in release, every single showing at Wynnsong Theatre in Provo will sell out. NARRATOR: According to Wynnsong manager Matt Palmer, that is exactly what happened. KATE: All right, then. (sound of clothes hitting the floor) * * * (Scene 3) FIRST MATE: Captain, we’re about to hit an iceberg. CAPTAIN: Great, I could use some ice for my drink. (sound of drinking) ICEBERG: (hits boat) FIRST MATE: That can’t be good. CAPTAIN: Bottoms up! AUDIENCE: (silence) FIRST MATE: That was irony, you fools. AUDIENCE: Baa! Moo! Where’s Leonardo? * * * (Scene 4) LEONARDO: I have been informed that this boat is sinking. KATE: That is terrible. LEONARDO: Would you like to engage in some more immoral-but-justified behavior? KATE: Certainly. WEASELLY FIANCE: Excuse me, I- AUDIENCE: Boo! Boo! WEASELLY FIANCE: (aside) I’m getting the raw end of the deal here. (to Leonardo) Listen, Leonardo, to cement my morally-dubious-yet-somehow- less-annoying-than-you personality, I am going to handcuff you to this pipe, here in a room that will soon be filling with water, due to the fact that we are sinking, which I believe has been mentioned previously. LEONARDO: Why don’t you just shoot me? WEASELLY FIANCE: Because then you wouldn’t be able to escape and save Kate from me. Of course, you’re going to die anyway- AUDIENCE: Don’t spoil it for us! Boo! LEONARDO: He’s right, though. I am doomed. AUDIENCE: Aww, look how cute he is when he’s doomed. WEASELLY FIANCE: I hate you people. * * * (Scene 5) 150-YEAR-OLD KATE: And that’s when Leonardo rescued me from my evil fiance and helped me float on a board in the water. Of course, if it hadn’t been for having to rescue HIM, I could have gotten on an actual lifeboat, and not frozen my legs nearly off. Anyway, he’s pretty much dead now, and I’m well over a thousand years old, and who’s making my supper? I need a bath. Turn down that Enya music, it’s making my ears hurt. You kids today, with your loud music. Why, when I was-hey! Don’t you walk away from me, Mr. Snooty-Patootie! I’d turn you over my knee, if I had one. I’ll beat you in the head with this huge diamond! Come back here! (Fade to black; roll credits; play annoying Celine Dion song.) The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
someone has way too much time on their hands
"Someone" cuts and pastes in seconds. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
Hmmmmm… Cheryl… You never cease to amaze me with what you will come up with. I did like your tutorial relative to the Google search application. Never a dull moment with you around… Now if we could only resurrect our resident Carnival basher Paul. I do hope he is ok… Bill
Response:
As a public service, then, I am offering my much-shortened screenplay which some ambitious film-maker can feel free to use as the script for a shorter version of " Titanic." All I want in return is a lot of money.
cute. I watched the movie all of once myself. About 30 minutes into it, all I could think was "Ok, SINK ALREADY!" lol. Needless to say, I am in the minority as someone who hated the movie. Might have been because we watched it with my mother (never a good thing as I hate what she likes, etc… lol) So I have considered giving it a second chance. If only because Billy Zane is one of my favorite actors. And I know what Leo is capable of acting wise. (The Beach, and Whats Eating Gilbert Grape are good examples of incredible acting) But I suppose we will see
— LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
I smell Oscar!
That’s not what you smell Karen. And her name isn’t Oscar lol.
— LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
When we saw it, in the final scene when the old lady dropped the giant blue diamond into the sea, my partner couldn’t control himself and was heard through the quiet theatre as he gasped in exasperation "Graaaandma!" Mark
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – As a public service, then, I am offering my much-shortened screenplay which some ambitious film-maker can feel free to use as the script for a shorter version of " Titanic." All I want in return is a lot of money. cute. I watched the movie all of once myself. About 30 minutes into it, all I could think was "Ok, SINK ALREADY!" lol. Needless to say, I am in the minority as someone who hated the movie. Might have been because we watched it with my mother (never a good thing as I hate what she likes, etc… lol) So I have considered giving it a second chance. If only because Billy Zane is one of my favorite actors. And I know what Leo is capable of acting wise. (The Beach, and Whats Eating Gilbert Grape are good examples of incredible acting) But I suppose we will see
— LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
When we saw it, in the final scene when the old lady dropped the giant blue diamond into the sea, my partner couldn’t control himself and was heard through the quiet theatre as he gasped in exasperation "Graaaandma!" Mark
We were waiting for the great-granddaughter or whoever to come and dump her over and yell "Go get it!!" Unbelievable! And Les, I thought it was stupid, too. Chris
Response:
Yes! What the hell was she thinking??? Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We were waiting for the great-granddaughter or whoever to come and dump her over and yell "Go get it!!" Unbelievable!
Response:
Yes! What the hell was she thinking???
Jeff! It was a movie!!! — Charles
Response:
It was just one of those things! I think she should have tried to save the Picassos from going down with the ship too. Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yes! What the hell was she thinking??? Jeff! It was a movie!!!
Response:
I smell Oscar! That’s not what you smell Karen. And her name isn’t Oscar lol.
This coming from an expert on buttholes. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
Hmmmmm… Cheryl… You never cease to amaze me with what you will come up with. I did like your tutorial relative to the Google search application. Never a dull moment with you around…
Dull is dull. And don’t call me Shirley. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
cute. I watched the movie all of once myself. About 30 minutes into it, all I could think was "Ok, SINK ALREADY!" lol. Needless to say, I am in the minority as someone who hated the movie.
Fun special effects. The rest….ehhhhh. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
When we saw it, in the final scene when the old lady dropped the giant blue diamond into the sea, my partner…….
Business or sexual? The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
I smell Oscar! That’s not what you smell Karen. And her name isn’t Oscar lol.
This coming from an expert on buttholes.
I hardly think I would qualify as an expert on anything. Using your logic, what does that make you an expert on? Replying to posts with only your sig? Ummm. Starting as much crap as you can? (Ok, so maybe *I* am an expert at that too lol) Oh oh! I know! With as much as you talk about anal sex, and homosexual habits, maybe you are an expert at that? Are you really a 15 year old boy fighting with his own sexuality? (I have ran into several 15 year old high school students that post a lot like you do, thats why I ask) wtf ever lol — LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
I smell Oscar! That’s not what you smell Karen. This coming from an expert on buttholes. I hardly think I would qualify as an expert on anything.
As you wish. Using your logic, what does that make you an expert on?
A lot of things. Replying to posts with only your sig?
That apparently flies right by your rather "astute" Usenet knowledge. Ummm. Starting as much crap as you can? (Ok, so maybe *I* am an expert at that too lol)
Takes one to know one, takes one to know one. Oh oh! I know! With as much as you talk about anal sex, and homosexual habits, maybe you are an expert at that?
I am an expert in knowing that nothing that is going in my anus unless it is attached to a medical purpose. Are you really a 15 year old boy fighting with his own sexuality?
zzzzzzzzzz (I have ran into several 15 year old high school students that post a lot like you do, thats why I ask)
Leave their butts alone. Statutory offense. The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
(I have ran into several 15 year old high school students that post a lot like you do, thats why I ask) Leave their butts alone. Statutory offense.
As Kid Rock says "If there’s grass on the field… play ball" lol Actually, according to the latest info site I have, the age in my state is only 13 for gay men and lesbians (which is disgusting! The age, not lesbianism lol)) and 18 for heterosexuals. It isn’t an "official site" But I have found them to be very accurate and up to date. Some of the ages for other countries are even worse
To me, after growing up in Texas, I think the age should be 18 all the way around. http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm — LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response:
Actually, according to the latest info site I have, the age in my state is only 13 for gay men and lesbians (which is disgusting! The age, not lesbianism lol)) and 18 for heterosexuals. It isn’t an "official site" But I have found them to be very accurate and up to date. Some of the ages for other countries are even worse
I never knew the breadth of this, Did you notice that earlier consents are are mainly aimed at those who cannot get impregnated? The Not So Fine Art Of Google http://makeashorterlink.com/?E29A321E6
Response:
So I’m probably the only person on Earth who hasn’t watched "Titanic" yet. Thanks for summing it up for me, CC. ….Now I don’t have bother sitting through —How many hours? Of course, I had a pretty good idea of how things would turn out anyways. Now let me see… Did Clifton Webb survive or not? …Jon
Response:
Hi Karen… That’s why I haven’t bothered watching the movie. There is no alien creature like in "The Abyss" to come to the rescue. …You automatically know, just from hearing the title that things are going to turn out bad in the end. …Jon
Response:
Hi Karen… That’s why I haven’t bothered watching the movie. There is no alien creature like in "The Abyss" to come to the rescue. …You automatically know, just from hearing the title that things are going to turn out bad in the end. …Jon
yeah, but how often do we get to see Kate Winslets boobs? Oh wait… in every movie she does lol — LES! To email me privately, remove your lips from my ass! "It takes the Village People to raise a child. Sometimes you need a cowboy, sometimes you need a cop, and sometimes you need a big gay Indian." – Unknown (possibly Dharma & Greg)
Response: