Question:

Susan, A good jeweler should be able to modify the setting on your engagement ring so that it can be worn with a non-notched band. I recently had my engagement ring modified to go with a band.  It’s a single diamond set in a platinum band.  The diamond is encircled by a bezel (sp???) and the level of the top surface of the diamond is flush with the ring band.  I love it this way, but having the diamond set flush made it look not quite right with a band because not only were the two rings unable to lie flat against each other (a thin like of skin might actually look nice) but the engagement ring tended to tilt away from the wedding band and look awkward.  So the jeweler took a small notch out of the bezel itself, which is virtually invisible from above.  During the remainder of my engagment, I’m wearing the engagement ring alone, and the notch is not noticable.  When I get married, the wedding band will fit nicely under the notch, which will be invisible as long as I wear both rings. My point is that if you get a skilled, creative jeweler, they *can* make the two rings work together with some slight modifications. Good luck.  Let us know how it goes. jb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Susan, Have you tried the 2 of them together without the notch? They may be fine together. I’ve tried it with the plain band-style ring I occasionally wear, and it doesn’t work at all.  The sapphire extends far enough below the bottom edge of its band that it rides up awkwardly when I wear it with another ring. I suppose I should’ve thought of that when we picked out the ring, but I didn’t.  It was a beautiful ring, it was *well* within our price range (thanks to after-Christmas sales!), and having been proposed to the night before, I wanted a ring on my finger, so I could feel Finally Officially Engaged. It’s still beautiful, and we’ll find a way to make it work, or at least to salvage the sapphire. –Susan (and Dylan) 9/4/99

Response:

Stacey, I am in the same situation. I also have small hands and wear very little jewelry. My engagement ring covers a lot of surface area and both my fiance and I agree that adding a band would make it too much. Even a very thin band would change the look of the ring. I plan to wear my engagement ring as my wedding band. We will also purchase a thin band that I can wear in situations I choose not to wear my engagement ring (ie. working in the yard). When we first bought the ring I had the same concerns about people thinking I was perpetually engaged. After having some time to think about it, I decided that it doesn’t really matter to me what other people think. When I got engaged I started noticing rings more and was very surprised at the number of people who only wear bands. Do people spend time worring about whether these women actually have engagement rings or not? The people who know you will know that you are married. The people who don’t know you and are concerned enough about your marital status will probably find out from someone else anyway. Becky – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My situation is the opposite of the earlier poster- My fiance and I are considering using my engagement ring to double as my wedding band.  I have small hands and do not wear a lot of jewelry. A band worn with my engagement ring would be too much! I already wear a very special ring on my right hand so I do not want to also wear my engagement ring on that hand. Will people assume that I am not married, just perpetually engaged? I realize that I can do pretty much whatever I want to, but is this rather against the norm? Stacey

Response:

I suppose I should’ve thought of that when we picked out the ring, but I didn’t.  It was a beautiful ring, it was *well* within our price range (thanks to after-Christmas sales!), and having been proposed to the night before, I wanted a ring on my finger, so I could feel Finally Officially Engaged. It’s still beautiful, and we’ll find a way to make it work, or at least to salvage the sapphire.

Susan: Have you considered having the sapphire and the setting removed and put on a necklace?  Just a thought. Star (and Emmett May 16, 1999 (omigosh only 27 days and counting!))

Response:

I already wear a very special ring on my right hand so I do not want to also wear my engagement ring on that hand. Will people assume that I am not married, just perpetually engaged?

I agree with what Wende said.  I don’t think it’s odd at all, but there are people who will ask (again and again and again) <g.  Have you thought about buying a very thin gold band (like a 2mm) and having it soldered to (or wearing it with) your engagement band?  A wedding ring doesn’t have to be big or chunky to be a wedding band. Karen — Karen Simmons, Photographer       The DK Gallery   http://www.thedkgallery.com

Response:

Greetings and Happy Sunday! However, I *really* don’t like gold and am mildy allergic to it.  I now take it off at night and that stops me from having a reaction, but if I leave it on for a couple of days straight, my finger starts to itch. Pure gold will not give you a reaction. But even 24k is still only 48% gold, and there is no control over what the other 52% has to be.

24k is pure gold.  You’re thinking of 14k, which is 48% gold/52% other.   24k is, generally speaking, far too soft to use for jewelry, particularly rings, which often take a lot of punishment.  A good compromise is 18k, which is 75% gold/25% silver.  I think it’s much richer looking than 14k. Most likely you are having a reaction to copper, pewter, tin, nickle, or anything else the shop had laying around when it came time to cast your grandmother’s ring.

You are exactly right.  IME, nickel is usually the culprit in metal allergies, though others can cause problems too. <shameless plug Titanium is one of the most hypoallergenic metals available.  Email me if you’d like info on our ring styles.  </shameless plug Rachel, to Jeremy, September 15, 2001 Assoc Designer, Titanium Art Studios "A blisful lyf, a paisible and a swete, Ledden the peples in the former age."   Chaucer, "The Former Age."

Response:

My situation is the opposite of the earlier poster- My fiance and I are considering using my engagement ring to double as my wedding band.  I have small hands and do not wear a lot of jewelry. A band worn with my engagement ring would be too much! I already wear a very special ring on my right hand so I do not want to also wear my engagement ring on that hand. Will people assume that I am not married, just perpetually engaged? I realize that I can do pretty much whatever I want to, but is this rather against the norm?

It’s unusual, but as you’ve noticed, no one can really *stop* you from doing it. The only situation where I could see this becoming an annoyance is if you work in a field where you’re constantly meeting with salespeople (or possibly interviewing job candidates). These are situations where people look for conversation starters, so they’ll tend to exclaim, "What a lovely engagement ring! When is the wedding?" How tolerant are you of hearing the same question over and over? If you ordinarily see the same few people, they’ll quickly get used to your ring-wearing habits and forget about it. True strangers’ opinions don’t count anyway. Wende

Response:

Susan, Have you tried the 2 of them together without the notch? They may be fine together.

I’ve tried it with the plain band-style ring I occasionally wear, and it doesn’t work at all.  The sapphire extends far enough below the bottom edge of its band that it rides up awkwardly when I wear it with another ring. I suppose I should’ve thought of that when we picked out the ring, but I didn’t.  It was a beautiful ring, it was *well* within our price range (thanks to after-Christmas sales!), and having been proposed to the night before, I wanted a ring on my finger, so I could feel Finally Officially Engaged. It’s still beautiful, and we’ll find a way to make it work, or at least to salvage the sapphire. –Susan (and Dylan) 9/4/99

Response:

My situation is the opposite of the earlier poster- My fiance and I are considering using my engagement ring to double as my wedding band.  I have small hands and do not wear a lot of jewelry. A band worn with my engagement ring would be too much! I already wear a very special ring on my right hand so I do not want to also wear my engagement ring on that hand. Will people assume that I am not married, just perpetually engaged? I realize that I can do pretty much whatever I want to, but is this rather against the norm? Stacey – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions.  What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says? An engagement ring has nothing to do with being married.  Actually an engagement ring has nothing to do with being engaged either, except as a symbol.  You can be engaged and/or married without any kind of jewelry whatsoever. I know many women who don’t wear or didn’t even have engagement rings and no one thinks they aren’t married because they wear a wedding ring only.  I could see your FH’s point (maybe) if you didn’t want to wear a wedding ring, but to say people won’t think you’re married if you’re wearing a wedding ring and not an engagement ring is just plain silly. It seems to me like there might be another issue here for your FH that he isn’t bringing up. FWIW, I don’t wear my engagement ring except for special occasions.  I found when I was working that I would get the ring caught on the lining of my camera bag frequently.  Because of that, I opted for a plain gold band as my wedding ring, and I now wear my engagement ring on my right hand only when we go out. Hope this helps some, Karen — Karen Simmons, Photographer       The DK Gallery   http://www.thedkgallery.com

Response:

Susan, Have you tried the 2 of them together without the notch? They may be fine together. The reason I say so is that my wedding band does not rest smoothly right up against my engagement ring either and I did not want/couldn’t have a notch taken in the wedding band (it’s like an anniversary band). Even though there is a small space between both rings, it really looks good and I wouldn’t have it any other way. HTH, Kirsten – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I haven’t decided what to do about my engagement ring once I’m married. It’s an oval sapphire with a small diamond on either side, and the sapphire is large enough that I’d have to have a notch cut in the wedding band for the two rings to fit smoothly together.  That would look fine with a plain wedding band, but Dylan and I like the idea of Celtic rings, and I’d hate to chop a notch out of a knotwork pattern.  I’m considering having the sapphire reset as part of the wedding band.  I don’t want to switch it to my right hand, because then I couldn’t wear the claddagh ring Dylan bought me before we were engaged. –Susan (and Dylan) 9/4/99

Response:

Many women don’t wear an engagement ring.  It’s the wedding band that signifies you’re married, that’s why you get it during the *wedding* ceremony. Tell your FH to lighten up! Lis – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Greetings and Happy Sunday! I really need help with this.  As an engagement ring, I am wearing my late grandmother’s diamond wedding ring. It is lovely, but it is gold, which I really don’t like.  We wanted to save money on a ring and so that’s why we’re using it.  (Note: I was *very* close to my grandmother so it is quite an honor for me, also.)  However, I *really* don’t like gold and am mildy allergic to it.  I now take it off at night and that stops me from having a reaction, but if I leave it on for a couple of days straight, my finger starts to itch.  I cannot wear gold earring for the same reason.  I recently found the wedding ring of my dreams!  It kind of shaped like and infinity symbol with lots of diamonds  – but there’s a problem with it.  It’s platinum, which I love.  Also, the shape of it really prohibits wearing an engagement ring with it like any kind of a wrap or whatever.  So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions.  What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says? Thanks! Sarah To Jim, 7/1/00

Response:

Greetings and Happy Sunday! I really need help with this.  As an engagement ring, I am wearing my late grandmother’s diamond wedding ring. It is lovely, but it is gold, which I really don’t like.  We wanted to save money on a ring and so that’s why we’re using it.  (Note: I was *very* close to my grandmother so it is quite an honor for me, also.)  However, I *really* don’t like gold and am mildy allergic to it.  I now take it off at night and that stops me from having a reaction, but if I leave it on for a couple of days straight, my finger starts to itch.

Definitely don’t wear anything you’re allergic to!  No need to suffer for it. I like the idea of having the stones reset, perhaps in a very similar design to your grandmother’s ring. I have one friend who’s allergic to most jewelry who wears her wedding band and engagement ring as a necklace on a long chain.  That way, they rest against the fabric of her shirt instead of her skin, and she avoids the hives. I’ve never seen my mother wear her engagement ring.  I think at one point her rings didn’t fit her anymore, and she got a new wedding band but not engagement ring.  She just keeps it in her jewelry box.  Maybe she had some thoughts of passing it on to a daughter or daughter-in-law, but it just hasn’t worked out that way. I haven’t decided what to do about my engagement ring once I’m married.  It’s an oval sapphire with a small diamond on either side, and the sapphire is large enough that I’d have to have a notch cut in the wedding band for the two rings to fit smoothly together.  That would look fine with a plain wedding band, but Dylan and I like the idea of Celtic rings, and I’d hate to chop a notch out of a knotwork pattern.  I’m considering having the sapphire reset as part of the wedding band.  I don’t want to switch it to my right hand, because then I couldn’t wear the claddagh ring Dylan bought me before we were engaged. –Susan (and Dylan) 9/4/99

Response:

Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married.

Um, your wedding ring is the sign that you’re married. I suppose it’s possible that people will think you’re not engaged… but once you’re married, you’re *not* engaged any more, so what’s the difference? Since getting married, I always wear my engagement ring on my right hand, and it doesn’t look like a conventional engagement ring anyway. No one has ever commented. My mother never wore her engagement ring that I can remember. I know one person who seems to wear different rings every day — I have no idea if *any* of them are her official wedding and engagement rings, although she’s definitely married. Wende

Response:

I recently found the wedding ring of my dreams!  It kind of shaped like and infinity symbol with lots of diamonds  – but there’s a problem with it.  It’s platinum, which I love.  Also, the shape of it really prohibits wearing an engagement ring with it like any kind of a wrap or whatever.  So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?

Hi Sarah, No, you don’t have to wear your engagement ring after you get married. One of my friends never even got an engagement ring when she got engaged.  She and her husband have been married for over 5 years now, and all this time, she’s worn only her wedding band. Nenette

Response:

Why don’t you have the diamond reset?

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Greetings and Happy Sunday! I really need help with this.  As an engagement ring, I am wearing my late grandmother’s diamond wedding ring. It is lovely, but it is gold, which I really don’t like.  We wanted to save money on a ring and so that’s why we’re using it.  (Note: I was *very* close to my grandmother so it is quite an honor for me, also.)  However, I *really* don’t like gold and am mildy allergic to it.  I now take it off at night and that stops me from having a reaction, but if I leave it on for a couple of days straight, my finger starts to itch.  I cannot wear gold earring for the same reason.  I recently found the wedding ring of my dreams!  It kind of shaped like and infinity symbol with lots of diamonds  – but there’s a problem with it.  It’s platinum, which I love.  Also, the shape of it really prohibits wearing an engagement ring with it like any kind of a wrap or whatever.  So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions.  What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says? Thanks! Sarah To Jim, 7/1/00

Response:

So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions.  What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says?

An engagement ring has nothing to do with being married.  Actually an engagement ring has nothing to do with being engaged either, except as a symbol.  You can be engaged and/or married without any kind of jewelry whatsoever. I know many women who don’t wear or didn’t even have engagement rings and no one thinks they aren’t married because they wear a wedding ring only.  I could see your FH’s point (maybe) if you didn’t want to wear a wedding ring, but to say people won’t think you’re married if you’re wearing a wedding ring and not an engagement ring is just plain silly. It seems to me like there might be another issue here for your FH that he isn’t bringing up. FWIW, I don’t wear my engagement ring except for special occasions.  I found when I was working that I would get the ring caught on the lining of my camera bag frequently.  Because of that, I opted for a plain gold band as my wedding ring, and I now wear my engagement ring on my right hand only when we go out. Hope this helps some, Karen — Karen Simmons, Photographer       The DK Gallery   http://www.thedkgallery.com

Response:

Greetings and Happy Sunday! However, I *really* don’t like gold and am mildy allergic to it.  I now take it off at night and that stops me from having a reaction, but if I leave it on for a couple of days straight, my finger starts to itch.

Pure gold will not give you a reaction. But even 24k is still only 48% gold, and there is no control over what the other 52% has to be. Most likely you are having a reaction to copper, pewter, tin, nickle, or anything else the shop had laying around when it came time to cast your grandmother’s ring. Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions.  What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says?

A wedding ring is a sign that you are married, not the engagement ring. As for what people think, those who need to know if you are married ( and very few really *need* to know this) will outright ask you when the time comes. It’s really nobody else’s business what your marital status is. If you want people to know you will wear your wedding ring and make comments like "My husband and I had a great time this weekend…" You already treasure your grandmother’s ring. Keep it, but if it gives you a rash, keep it in a box. Dawn — Batgirl was a Librarian, too! http://www.he.net/~dduperal/ anti-spam reply: dduperault (at) aol.com

Response:

You can either somehow use the diamond from your grandmother’s with your ring, or you can just wear it on your right hand.  You could have it reset too! Kelli – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Greetings and Happy Sunday! I really need help with this.  As an engagement ring, I am wearing my late grandmother’s diamond wedding ring. It is lovely, but it is gold, which I really don’t like.  We wanted to save money on a ring and so that’s why we’re using it.  (Note: I was *very* close to my grandmother so it is quite an honor for me, also.)  However, I *really* don’t like gold and am mildy allergic to it.  I now take it off at night and that stops me from having a reaction, but if I leave it on for a couple of days straight, my finger starts to itch.  I cannot wear gold earring for the same reason.  I recently found the wedding ring of my dreams!  It kind of shaped like and infinity symbol with lots of diamonds  – but there’s a problem with it.  It’s platinum, which I love.  Also, the shape of it really prohibits wearing an engagement ring with it like any kind of a wrap or whatever.  So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions.  What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says? Thanks! Sarah To Jim, 7/1/00

Response:

says… I recently found the wedding ring of my dreams!  It kind of shaped like and infinity symbol with lots of diamonds  – but there’s a problem with it.  It’s platinum, which I love.  Also, the shape of it really prohibits wearing an engagement ring with it like any kind of a wrap or whatever.  So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?

Absolutely.  Many women don’t have engagement rings at all!  My engagement ring doesn’t "match up" with my wedding band–were I to try to wear them on the same finger it would leave gaps, which I don’t like.   For a while I wore my engagement ring on my right hand (you might have to have it resized for that) but now I just don’t wear it, because it gets caught on things (my hair!) and I’m paranoid about losing it =) Since you’re having an allergic reaction to yours, that sounds like an *excellent* reason to stop wearing it on a daily basis.  Consider wearing it on your right hand, just for special occasions.    My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married.

Point out to FH that the engagement ring indicates you’re *engaged*, and the wedding ring indicates that you’re *married*.  It also doesn’t matter if people think you’re married or not, and if your FH is really hung up on people knowing you’re "taken", I’d be worried. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions.  What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says?

Neither my mother, nor my MIL wear engagement rings (I don’t know if they have them) and they seem very married to me.  I think you’re in the clear =) — This email address is unread due to spam.  Please post all replies.

Response:

Hi, Sarah! We had a situation very similar to this.  When Jason proposed we really did not want to spend a lot of money on an engagement ring.  FMIL had a ring that was a diamond band in silver that she had intended to give to Jason someday, so that is what he gave me.  It was beautiful and I loved it.  I am allergic to silver, though.  I had to take the ring off everynight and I still broke out in hives.  It got so bad at one point that not only did my finger break out but my palm and other fingers did also.  I switched the ring to my other hand only to have the same thing happen.  I eventually had to just stop wearning it and it broke my heart.  So we just went out and got me a new diamond ring.  A more traditional one… half a carat solitiare in white gold because I’m not allergic to it and (to me) it looks just like silver.  So we are now going to use the diamond band of FMIL as a wedding band and we are going to have the whole thing reset in white gold.  That way it looks exactly the same, only it won’t make me break out. Maybe you could have your grandmother’s ring reset in the exact same style as it is now only in platinum so that you won’t break out and it will match the ring that you love so much?  I don’t think it is so bad if you don’t wear your engagement ring… almost all of the women I work with wear only their bands.  They have fancy diamond bands (most are the type that another ring cannot be worn with) and only wear their engagement rings on special occasions.  Maybe you could wear your grandmothers ring on another finger or on the other hand after the wedding? Stefani marrying Jason 10/2/99 ( www.Geocities.com/Wellesley/Gazebo/8358 )

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Greetings and Happy Sunday! I really need help with this.  As an engagement ring, I am wearing my late grandmother’s diamond wedding ring. It is lovely, but it is gold, which I really don’t like.  We wanted to save money on a ring and so that’s why we’re using it.  (Note: I was *very* close to my grandmother so it is quite an honor for me, also.)  However, I *really* don’t like gold and am mildy allergic to it.  I now take it off at night and that stops me from having a reaction, but if I leave it on for a couple of days straight, my finger starts to itch.  I cannot wear gold earring for the same reason.  I recently found the wedding ring of my dreams!  It kind of shaped like and infinity symbol with lots of diamonds  – but there’s a problem with it.  It’s platinum, which I love.  Also, the shape of it really prohibits wearing an engagement ring with it like any kind of a wrap or whatever.  So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions. What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says? Thanks! Sarah To Jim, 7/1/00

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Greetings and Happy Sunday! I really need help with this.  As an engagement ring, I am wearing my late grandmother’s diamond wedding ring. It is lovely, but it is gold, which I really don’t like.  We wanted to save money on a ring and so that’s why we’re using it.  (Note: I was *very* close to my grandmother so it is quite an honor for me, also.)  However, I *really* don’t like gold and am mildy allergic to it.  I now take it off at night and that stops me from having a reaction, but if I leave it on for a couple of days straight, my finger starts to itch.  I cannot wear gold earring for the same reason.  I recently found the wedding ring of my dreams!  It kind of shaped like and infinity symbol with lots of diamonds  – but there’s a problem with it.  It’s platinum, which I love.  Also, the shape of it really prohibits wearing an engagement ring with it like any kind of a wrap or whatever.  So, what do I do?  Can I just not wear my engagement ring after I get married?  My FH thinks that’s horrible and that people won’t think that I’m married. However, my mother does not wear an engagement ring with her band and my grandmother did not even wear this ring except for special occasions.  What should I do?  Is this really as blasphemous as my FH says? Thanks! Sarah To Jim, 7/1/00

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Question:

Do you have a website?  I’d love to view your plans to date.

Nope – it’s all I can do to get to these boards, lol.  Once everything’s 100% in place, I’ll post in great detail, if you’d like to read it. Congrats on the dress. You must be excited.  I know I would be.  What is your gown like?

It’s called Laurel, and I know that there’s a picture of it in the spring Brides magazine. It’s very plain, A-line, with these 3/4 length wild chiffon sleeves and a chiffon overskirt covering a very simply crepe.  Scoop neck, sweep train.  The only embellishement on the dress are these little artifical flowers around the waist (which I might remove and replace with nicer fabric rosettes).  Both my mother and I sew quite a bit, and we were extremely impressed with the quality of the dress.  Everything is beautifully finished, and at under $1,000, we weren’t sure what to expect. I’m now the offical Pronovias US cheerleader AH, Yes… The shoes.  I picked mine from an online catalogue.  They’re expensive but I then found a store that has the same shoes for about 50% less.

That’s fabulous!  What shoes did you buy?  I saw the Kenneth Cole shoes online as well, and they were quoting $120 for the pair, but I scouted out a Kenneth Cole outlet store, and bought them on sale for $70, so I guess it wasn’t too bad of me to get them.  Still, it’s difficult to imagine paying that sort of money for shoes I’ll never wear again.  It’s odd that I feel that way, because I have no qualms at all about spending the money on the dress! Well, nothing much new to report.  I have a little over a year to go (August. 7, 99) so a lot of our "stuff" have slowed down a bit.  I bought all the stuff for the decorations.  IT’s sitting under my china cabinet right now…. no where else to put it.  My dress starts to get made in October, so I’m not rushing on that.  I go to aerobics every week, but working on tightening the "gravity" muscles (boobs) !  My MOH gets back from her vacation today and I’m so excited.  

Shelley – Good for you that you’re already so organized!  Now you can actually take your time and really think about each element you’ll be adding to the day.  Gosh – you can spend a whole month just looking for really cool readings, if you want to!  As for all the decorations, isn’t it amazing how they start to invade your living space?  Everywhere I look, I see something wedding-related.  What sort of decorations did you buy? As for aerobics, yeah, fun, ain’t it?  I actually sent away for those blasted BodyFlex tapes that everyone’s raving about, and they should arrive in the next week or so.  What sort of aerobics are you doing?  How often a week?  Are you noticing any difference yet? Thanks forasking.

Thanks for sharing! N.

Response:

So, how is everyone doing lately?

It’s fun to see that some people who have weddings planned 2 years away are about as eager as those getting married in a week!  I am getting married Aug. 31st, just over a month away, and I think when the calendar hits Aug. 1st I am going to start to worry.  We keep plugging away at the details, but there’s a lot to do.  We just booked the reception site last Friday (our previous site was sold) and we still have to firm up the menu, plan the music, plan & book a honeymoon, make the canopy for the wedding, rent tableclothes, have rings made & engraved, find shoes & jewelry, buy grooms clothes, and figure out the flowers and cake.  Just a few things. ha ha. But, all of the family is coming, I have my dress, and just finding the site for the receoption was a big big relief. Lisa, marrying David 8/31/98

Response:

So, how is everyone doing lately?

Well, some of us are grateful that our wedding plans are simple, as everything else seems to be complicated! Let’s see… The student Catholic center down the block is being closed and its ministries consolidated with our parish — a *very* controversial decision (the center being closed was actively in trouble with the archdiocese, among other things). As my parish’s Webmaster, I get to find a tactful way to present documents that say essentially, "You people were so dysfunctional that you can’t run your own parish, so now we have to do it." Shudder. Plus we are in the middle of a meeting-intensive transition process. At least we are guaranteed that our wedding will take place as planned, with the original priest — the parish has been very good about preserving our wedding plans intact throughout the whole brouhaha. (So we just have the staffing and plans of all our usual ministries changing the week of the wedding… with planning work required.) Clients… oh holy mother of God! They know about things two years in advance, but they don’t ask for help until two *days* in advance! I am in the process of trying to retrain these people that I will not be available 24/7 in the future. We plan on starting a family ASAP, which means, if we’re successful, this time next year, we’ll have a kid… we examined our values pretty carefully and agreed that I could cut back on work load severely in order to raise kids. Now I’ll probably get flamed for implying that good mothers stay home, which is NOT what I believe! Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer: What is right for us, with *our* specific values, at *our* phase of life, is not, repeat NOT, right for everyone!!! That, and we’re trying to cram two households into one small apartment that Phil apparently hasn’t cleaned at *any* point in the past 10 years. Ugh. Every free evening is cleaning. The payoff is that, because we own the building, we have virtually no housing costs (and thus can live on one income if we want) *if* we are willing to live simply and not accumulate stuff. That said, our programs and favors are done. Our liturgy has been done for months. We are clothed. I am about one-third of the way through baking cakes for the reception (having discovered that it is possible to beat eggs with one hand and take notes from a phone interview with the other hand). Attendants’ presents are bought. All we have to do is get a nice present for our very helpful priest, get the license, and show up! Wende

Response:

So, how is everyone doing lately?  Any major pitfalls to report?  Any new gowns arrive?  I guess I’m just anxious to hear all about everyone’s plans, especially those who are getting close to their dates.

Well, we had put a lot of planning off until after Peter took his oral exams (he passed and is ABD, yea!!!). We are moving two states away in less than two weeks (he’s staying out there and I’m coming back here and staying with a friend until the wedding in September) so we’re trying to get as much done as possible before we go. I think we’re doing ok! I’m probably most worried about my dress. It’s a very simple design and I’m having it made, but I’m just worried that it won’t look as nice as I’m imagining it will. I should hear from the seamstress this week about my first fitting. We’re ordering the rings today; and hopefully getting the license, finishing the map, and sending out invitations this week. Oh, and I guess there’s that little issue of packing…. Jodi G. (9/26/98)

Response:

Meeting Florist on Thursday. Doing Makeup trial on August 5th. Must meet group doing music at Ceremony. Must choose the music that will be playing before the ceremony. Must make programs (fianc

Question:

.. friend in Alabama swears that the creosote ties she uses for partial above ground ponds keep the moccasins out … the one pond without the logs had a whole nest of baby moccasins in there eating fry.. solo You are lucky.  During the summer I had at least 3 water moccasins in residence at  my 410 sq ft pond in Guadalupe County TX about 70 miles south of you.   H.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Good morning ponders,   I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance…. Regards, Volume:   2100 Gallons Filter:   4-chamber bio-filter, 200 gallons Pump:     1250 Beckett Fish:     17 (5 kois + 12 goldfish) fr. Water Garden Gems and Emerald Water Garden Plant:    Lilies and bog plants Location: Austin, Texas Built:    July 1997

Cheer up — it could be worse.  Friday I found a snake INSIDE my house. Yep.  Crawling around the living room.  Also not poisonous.  ID’d as a "Texas Brown Snake."  (Actually he was kind’a cute — but not crawling around my living room!)  He’s since been relocated to the Great Outdoors.   Your little fish-eater sounds like a garter/ribbon snake.  There are a few striped water-snakes, too. A quick peek through Peterson’s Field Guide shows most poisonous snakes have either diamond/bands (rattlers, copperheads, coral snakes) or look almost black (old cottonmouths).  You might scan the illustrations at Barnes & Noble to be sure.

Response:

Good morning ponders,   I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance….

You are lucky.  During the summer I had at least 3 water moccasins in residence at  my 410 sq ft pond in Guadalupe County TX about 70 miles south of you.  Two were about 4 feet long and the third about 2 feet.  I shot one with a .22 loded with a varmit shot shell (about 100 very smal BB shots under a plastic cone warhead in a 22 calliber shell).   The atopsey revealed a 6 inch gold fish in it’s gullet.  I shot at the others also but don’t believe I got either of these.   They are elusive targets. I have not seen them for the past month.  Aparently they left on their own accord.  Here is my accessment of the damage.  At the end of last summer there were something like 200 gold fish resident in this rather large pond; today there are aabout 35 including 20 new from the class of 97 which are now schooling with the older fish.  Also falling victim was about 8 koi 5 of which I added last April before the snakes appaeared.  At this time there are only 2 koi remaining one now about 7 inches long the only surviver of the five purchased this spring and  a foot long 2 year old that apparently was a bit more than the moccasins could handle.    If the moccasins dined on the mollies the loss is not apparent as there must be over a thousand of this prolific fish here now.  Also the white cloud mountain population which seems to have had a large spawn this year has never been larger.  Perhaps the moccasins were not interested in these small fish. H.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Org.  : Semiconductor Products Sector Good morning ponders,   I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance…. Regards, Volume:   2100 Gallons Filter:   4-chamber bio-filter, 200 gallons Pump:     1250 Beckett Fish:     17 (5 kois + 12 goldfish) fr. Water Garden Gems and Emerald Water Garden Plant:    Lilies and bog plants Location: Austin, Texas Built:    July 1997

Usually snakes don’t like Sulphur powder, but I don’t know how to not contaminate the water with sulphur powder? Any Chemist out there?

Response:

Good morning ponders,   I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance…. Regards, Volume:   2100 Gallons Filter:   4-chamber bio-filter, 200 gallons Pump:     1250 Beckett Fish:     17 (5 kois + 12 goldfish) fr. Water Garden Gems and Emerald Water Garden Plant:    Lilies and bog plants Location: Austin, Texas Built:    July 1997

Response:

Good morning ponders,  I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance….

Keith Sounds like a plain ol garter snake. Not poisonous, but will bite if riled. I keep a sapphire garter to help with population control in my three ponds. Either add some feeders for the snake or remove him. Hope this helps. Regards Brian

Response:

Good morning ponders,  I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison?

Sounds like a ribbon snake, and it is not poisonous.

Response:

.. friend in Alabama swears that the creosote ties she uses for partial above ground ponds keep the moccasins out … the one pond without the logs had a whole nest of baby moccasins in there eating fry.. solo You are lucky.  During the summer I had at least 3 water moccasins in residence at  my 410 sq ft pond in Guadalupe County TX about 70 miles south of you.   H.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Good morning ponders,   I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance…. Regards, Volume:   2100 Gallons Filter:   4-chamber bio-filter, 200 gallons Pump:     1250 Beckett Fish:     17 (5 kois + 12 goldfish) fr. Water Garden Gems and Emerald Water Garden Plant:    Lilies and bog plants Location: Austin, Texas Built:    July 1997

Cheer up — it could be worse.  Friday I found a snake INSIDE my house. Yep.  Crawling around the living room.  Also not poisonous.  ID’d as a "Texas Brown Snake."  (Actually he was kind’a cute — but not crawling around my living room!)  He’s since been relocated to the Great Outdoors.   Your little fish-eater sounds like a garter/ribbon snake.  There are a few striped water-snakes, too. A quick peek through Peterson’s Field Guide shows most poisonous snakes have either diamond/bands (rattlers, copperheads, coral snakes) or look almost black (old cottonmouths).  You might scan the illustrations at Barnes & Noble to be sure.

Response:

Good morning ponders,   I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance….

You are lucky.  During the summer I had at least 3 water moccasins in residence at  my 410 sq ft pond in Guadalupe County TX about 70 miles south of you.  Two were about 4 feet long and the third about 2 feet.  I shot one with a .22 loded with a varmit shot shell (about 100 very smal BB shots under a plastic cone warhead in a 22 calliber shell).   The atopsey revealed a 6 inch gold fish in it’s gullet.  I shot at the others also but don’t believe I got either of these.   They are elusive targets. I have not seen them for the past month.  Aparently they left on their own accord.  Here is my accessment of the damage.  At the end of last summer there were something like 200 gold fish resident in this rather large pond; today there are aabout 35 including 20 new from the class of 97 which are now schooling with the older fish.  Also falling victim was about 8 koi 5 of which I added last April before the snakes appaeared.  At this time there are only 2 koi remaining one now about 7 inches long the only surviver of the five purchased this spring and  a foot long 2 year old that apparently was a bit more than the moccasins could handle.    If the moccasins dined on the mollies the loss is not apparent as there must be over a thousand of this prolific fish here now.  Also the white cloud mountain population which seems to have had a large spawn this year has never been larger.  Perhaps the moccasins were not interested in these small fish. H.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Org.  : Semiconductor Products Sector Good morning ponders,   I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance…. Regards, Volume:   2100 Gallons Filter:   4-chamber bio-filter, 200 gallons Pump:     1250 Beckett Fish:     17 (5 kois + 12 goldfish) fr. Water Garden Gems and Emerald Water Garden Plant:    Lilies and bog plants Location: Austin, Texas Built:    July 1997

Usually snakes don’t like Sulphur powder, but I don’t know how to not contaminate the water with sulphur powder? Any Chemist out there?

Response:

Good morning ponders,   I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance…. Regards, Volume:   2100 Gallons Filter:   4-chamber bio-filter, 200 gallons Pump:     1250 Beckett Fish:     17 (5 kois + 12 goldfish) fr. Water Garden Gems and Emerald Water Garden Plant:    Lilies and bog plants Location: Austin, Texas Built:    July 1997

Response:

Good morning ponders,  I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison? Thanks in advance….

Keith Sounds like a plain ol garter snake. Not poisonous, but will bite if riled. I keep a sapphire garter to help with population control in my three ponds. Either add some feeders for the snake or remove him. Hope this helps. Regards Brian

Response:

Good morning ponders,  I’ve just discovered a snake policing in my pond and there are about 3 community fish are missing.  The snake is about 1 foot long and round about to the size of a pencil.  It has a red or orange stripe on the back and a yellow stripe on each side of the body.  It’s tongue look red.  I was wondering what kind of snake is this and is it poison?

Sounds like a ribbon snake, and it is not poisonous.

Response:

Question:

OK I just got engaged but it kind of came up before I got her an engagement ring.  So my question is this.  What’s the difference between engagement and wedding rings.  She already has a ring I gave her  when we started going together.  I’m thinking we should just go straight to the wedding rings.  But I just don’t know what the difference between the two is.  Any insight as to the tradition of ring would be very helpful.

Response:

OK I just got engaged but it kind of came up before I got her an engagement ring.  So my question is this.  What’s the difference between engagement and wedding rings.  She already has a ring I gave her  when we started going together.  I’m thinking we should just go straight to the wedding rings.  But I just don’t know what the difference between the two is.  Any insight as to the tradition of ring would be very helpful.

        Here’s the basics:         1.  The engagement ring is generally comprised of a solitaire                 diamond mounted on a gold ring.  According to deBeers & Co.,                 this ring should cost you about two months’ gross salary.                 (Your mileage may vary.)  The history of the engagement                 ring is fairly steeped in the dowry (eg, buying the bride).         2.  The wedding band is generally a gold band unadorned by any                 precious or semi-precious stones.  This band can also be                 platinum, but is only occasionally silver.  This ring is a                 symbol of the covenant you make on your wedding day.  Folklore                 on the wedding band holds that it is placed on the finger                 believed to contain blood vessels which lead directly to the                 heart.         These are the general bits.  What you and your fiancee wish to do is entirely your choice.  Myself, I just purchased a .58 carat Princess Solitaire for my wife.  We both thought it was time to "upgrade" the original engagement ring.  I guess this shows that it’s never really "too late" to get your sweetheart a "proper" engagement ring.  ;) -Jay    (    (   .–="There’s always time for a good cup of coffee."=–. _______    ))   ))  | Jay D. Dyson – Administrator, Alt.Wedding Home Page |  ====<–.  C|~~|C|~~| |—–= http://www.point-2-point.com/altwedding =—–| |    = |-’

Response:

OK I just got engaged but it kind of came up before I got her an engagement ring.  So my question is this.  What’s the difference between engagement and wedding rings.  She already has a ring I gave her  when we started going together.  I’m thinking we should just go straight to the wedding rings.  But I just don’t know what the difference between the two is.  Any insight as to the tradition of ring would be very helpful.

  The engagement ring is basically a "promise" ring, and the wedding ring is the symbol for the promise you kept.  Jay’s answers go into more history than mine…but that’s the basic idea.  Ask her what she would prefer and take her along if she’d like to go to for the ring.  If she doesn’t want to go…then research your options before you go.  If she feels comfortable with the ring you gave her when you started going together as her engagement/promise ring…then that works as well.   Another option is a small diamond or other stone and a promise of an upgrade in the future.  None of these options are right or wrong…it’s entirely up to you and your fiance.  Hope this helps. Rachel @)-{– — Rachel’s Ramblings,  http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/2250/ Rachel’s Ramblings-wedding frugality page, http://www.achiever.com/freehmpg/rachel/wedding.html  ’Say "I do" to saving money on your wedding!’ @)-{–

Response:

… What’s the difference between engagement and wedding rings.[?]

Engagement ring is the one you give her as a symbol of your engagement. Wedding ring is the one that you give her as a symbol of your marriage. …. The history of the engagement ring is fairly steeped in the dowry (eg, buying the bride).

A quick stupid question: isn’t dowry what the parents give her when she marries? I’d say that the historical reasons behind an engagement ring were: (1) the engagement ring is a concrete symbol of engagement.  It helps to get rid       off the like ‘I guess we are sort of engaged’ situation. (2) the engagement ring, as a piece of expensive jewelery, is a symbol of the       guy’s seriousness; he wont give expensive things just to get into her pants.   (3) the engagement ring is a symbol to other suitors to keep away. I guess this shows that it’s never really "too late" to get your sweetheart a "proper" engagement ring.  ;)

Hey, don’t feel pressured into buying an engagement ring just because it is a tradition, or something that you need to go through.  I find it really discusting that the bridal and jewelery industries are pushing this idea of having to spend your hard earned money on this thing, especially in the light of the fact that people who fall in love don’t always think straight, and most guys are getting engaged at the time of their lives when the cash flow is kinda limited.  Do what you feel is right. –Peter Mlynek   (maintainer of an Engagement Diamond FAQ)

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – :       Here’s the basics: :       1.  The engagement ring is generally comprised of a solitaire :               diamond mounted on a gold ring.  According to deBeers & Co., :               this ring should cost you about two months’ gross salary. :               (Your mileage may vary.)  The history of the engagement :               ring is fairly steeped in the dowry (eg, buying the bride). :       2.  The wedding band is generally a gold band unadorned by any :               precious or semi-precious stones.  This band can also be :               platinum, but is only occasionally silver.  This ring is a :               symbol of the covenant you make on your wedding day.  Folklore :               on the wedding band holds that it is placed on the finger :               believed to contain blood vessels which lead directly to the :               heart.

I didn’t see the original post, but I have to say that I don’t think an engagement ring or wedding band should follow any specific "rules" – particularly the rule about the engagement ring costing two months’ salary! (C’mon – how many of us can **really** afford to go by this rule?) My own engagement ring doesn’t follow many of the rules. It’s a diamond in 14-carat gold, but its setting is a wide basketweave, so it looks more like a cocktail ring than an engagement ring. It’s also an old mine cut used prior to 1940. But I absolutely love it because it’s my style (Ken knew this when he gave it to me), and it has sentimental value. It was his great-grandmother’s ring. I had it appraised for insurance purposes last week, and I found out that it is an antique and quite valuable, although not quite worth two months of Ken’s salary. The only problem is that the setting of my ring is too wide for a wedding band. I hate to have it changed because it’s so beautiful, so I may just continue to wear the ring without a band after our wedding (the ring will have been blessed by the priest). Ken will wear a plain gold band that goes with my ring. So…I say that in choosing engagement rings and wedding bands, brides and grooms should choose something that reflects them, and forget about any rules set by deBeers or anyone else. Nancy (and Ken) May 17, 1997        

Response:

    Nancy, you may want to try a band that is notched. My engagement ring       is also somewhat wide and comes to points at the sides and I have a very thin wedding ring that is notched so that the engagement ring fits next to it.            Anne Marie (& Steve) 4/26/97       PS. I may end up not wearing my wedding band either though because it’s so     thin that you can hardly notice it with the engagement ring!

Response:

Just my $0.02 — I never have been fond of diamonds.  While I can intellectually appreciate their value, emotionally they are not appealing to me at all.  My fiancee and I had discussed my likes and dislikes ahead of time (we had one of those backwards engagements <g) and he bought me a square cut sapphire, flanked with diamonds in a sort of victorian setting.  It’s kinda hard to describe.  Anyway, I love it, and I think it cost him about $400.00.  (Even though he is a student, it was far and away from two months salary) I certainly wouldn’t be ruled by "tradition", whatever it may be. Tradition is a funny thing — it tends to mutate with time.  For example, several hundred years ago in England a plain gold band was worn by the bride-to-be from the time the betrothal was announced and the banns were read in church.  The ring was then blessed by the priest at the time of the wedding.  But it was always the same ring.  In Germany, the wedding ring and engagement ring are the same, only moved from the right to left hand on the day of the wedding.   So I guess the upshot to this is that I would take the traditional "diamond solitare" and "two months salary" guidelines with a grain of salt. Regards, Karen Karen Simmons Photography Montgomery, TX

Response:

Except of course that many many couples now buy diamond bands or bands with other stones… often birthstones, or other favorite stones are incorporated into the wedding bands.  Many of my customers balk at the plain bands because "that’s what my parents/grandparents have" — often these customers go with a carved or etched band if the diamond band isn’t their style.

We bought simple gold bands with milgrain edging.  Both sets of parents have the exact same ring.  We are quite happy with our choice.  We decided that diamonds can wait until diamonds fit into the budget picture.  We’re working on things like car payments, college tuition, rent, etc., right now and the diamond would just make me feel guilty when I think about all the other things we could be spending the money on.  Maybe I’m just weird. — Sharon L. Kazmierski Latin Teacher Westside High School – District 66 – Omaha, NE Latina Lingua Non Mortua Est!

Response:

We decided that diamonds can wait until diamonds fit into the budget picture.  We’re working on things like car payments, college tuition, rent, etc., right now and the diamond would just make me feel guilty

when I think about all the other things we could be spending the money on.  Maybe I’m just weird.

     You’re not weird. You’re smart. Revel in it. I’ve never understood this perceived need some frugal people have to feel ashamed of their frugality.      We got lucky, actually. We could afford to spend more or less whatever we wanted on wedding rings. We found *exactly* what we wanted at $165 each. Considering that the plainest and cheapest band going ran $140 (for his ring, which is smaller than what goes on *my* fat finger!), I was thrilled to be paying only an extra $25 per ring to get my heart’s desire.      Oh, yeah — what it looks like. It’s extraordinarily simple; just two strands of white gold wire (we couldn’t even have gotten the cheap rings in white gold!) twined around each other and bent into a ring. The weird thing is that we had to go to five jewelry stores to find it.      We like them so much that we may write the ring vows around ‘em. "As the two strands in this ring twine into one, so twine I my life with yours…" or something of that nature.      Anyway, enjoy your rings! Dorothea — Dorothea M. Rovner         | "Nuestras vidas son los rios Gradual Student            | que van a dar en la mar/qu’es el morir."

Response:

<questions on rings snipped – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – :       Here’s the basics: :       1.  The engagement ring is generally comprised of a solitaire :               diamond mounted on a gold ring.  According to deBeers & Co., :               this ring should cost you about two months’ gross salary. :               (Your mileage may vary.)  The history of the engagement :               ring is fairly steeped in the dowry (eg, buying the bride). :       2.  The wedding band is generally a gold band unadorned by any :               precious or semi-precious stones.  This band can also be :               platinum, but is only occasionally silver.  This ring is a :               symbol of the covenant you make on your wedding day.  Folklore :               on the wedding band holds that it is placed on the finger :               believed to contain blood vessels which lead directly to the :               heart. Except of course that many many couples now buy diamond bands or bands with other stones… often birthstones, or other favorite stones are incorporated into the wedding bands.  Many of my customers balk at the plain bands because "that’s what my parents/grandparents have" — often these customers go with a carved or etched band if the diamond band isn’t their style. julie

Hear hear! My wedding band is a wrap with three sapphires and three diamonds on each side, and the solitaire will sit in the center. Both Doug and I agreed on it right away (and it is one of the few events in our wedding plans that happened that way!). His ring is yellow gold with plates of white gold on either side of channel-set alternating sapphires and diamonds. It matches mine nicely. When we picked it up, he was like a kid, so excited. I’ve seen so many combinations and so many alternatives that I wouldn’t dare to say what’s "proper" anymore. What’s "traditional" may be the solitaire and the plain wedding bands. Genelle (& Doug) 5/31/97

Response:

: OK I just got engaged but it kind of came up before I got her an : engagement ring.  So my question is this.  What’s the difference between : engagement and wedding rings.  She already has a ring I gave her  when we : started going together.  I’m thinking we should just go straight to the : wedding rings.  But I just don’t know what the difference between the two : is.  Any insight as to the tradition of ring would be very helpful. :       Here’s the basics: :       1.  The engagement ring is generally comprised of a solitaire :               diamond mounted on a gold ring.  According to deBeers & Co., :               this ring should cost you about two months’ gross salary. :               (Your mileage may vary.)  The history of the engagement :               ring is fairly steeped in the dowry (eg, buying the bride). :       2.  The wedding band is generally a gold band unadorned by any :               precious or semi-precious stones.  This band can also be :               platinum, but is only occasionally silver.  This ring is a :               symbol of the covenant you make on your wedding day.  Folklore :               on the wedding band holds that it is placed on the finger :               believed to contain blood vessels which lead directly to the :               heart. Except of course that many many couples now buy diamond bands or bands with other stones… often birthstones, or other favorite stones are incorporated into the wedding bands.  Many of my customers balk at the plain bands because "that’s what my parents/grandparents have" — often these customers go with a carved or etched band if the diamond band isn’t their style. julie :       These are the general bits.  What you and your fiancee wish to do is : entirely your choice.  Myself, I just purchased a .58 carat Princess Solitaire : for my wife.  We both thought it was time to "upgrade" the original engagement : ring.  I guess this shows that it’s never really "too late" to get your : sweetheart a "proper" engagement ring.  ;) : -Jay :   :    (    (   .–="There’s always time for a good cup of coffee."=–. _______ :    ))   ))  | Jay D. Dyson – Administrator, Alt.Wedding Home Page |  ====<–. :  C|~~|C|~~| |—–= http://www.point-2-point.com/altwedding =—–| |    = |-’

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