My Jewelry Dreams » Three Stone Diamond Rings » a surprise engagement?
a surprise engagement?
Question:
Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way, but after someone tells you he’s planning to propose to you, and you talk about when and how and help him pick out a ring to give you, how can it POSSIBLY be a surprise any more??? Pooh
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -My boyfriend asked me the other day if he should surprise *me* or my parents (by getting engaged) We’re in an LDR and to be conveniently at my house for a ‘little talk with dad’ would be *very* suspicious. We’ve talked about getting married for a year, os I ‘m sort of onto the fact he’s going to propose one of these days — just not sure when– He wants to know if he should give me the ring or ask dad first (he’s a REAL traditionalist). Should I go with him to get it? He wants to know– but I think I trust his taste- Have I solved my own problem? How exciting! But any thoughts on how to deal with my parents? They’ll be suffiently *surprised* to say the least- Any input from the net will be greatly appreciated- use my header so I know you’re resp. to my prob. (can’t read ALL of my news, though I ‘d love to) Thanks!!! Mindy*
My fiance and I talked about getting engaged for a while. We went home for Thanksgiving, and I knew he was planning to ask my dad for his blessings. My dad would have been very shocked, so I told my dad before Michael asked him. I think this helped a lot, because it gave him a chance to get used to the idea, and it made my dad feel special that he was one of the first to know (from me). Anyway, after Michael asked him, Dad came back to the family room where everyone was and made a toast. It was great! After all this, everyone knew we were engaged. A few months later, all the excitement had died down, and Michael actually proposed with a ring. It was very nice for me because everyone made a fuss again! I didn’t go with Michael to shop for the ring, he picked it out. But he did very well! And it was nice that it was such a suprise, as I had no idea of what it would be like. As a side note, it was also important to me that the ring be largely HIS decision, because it is such a big investment. Also, since he was the one to pick it out, I never have to worry that my In-Laws will think I ASKED for an expensive ring, I can just say he picked it. Of course, I did tell him general guidelines about my taste in jewelry (simple, etc.) If you happen to not like the ring he gets, ettiquette requires that you say you love it three times before you say, "Of course, it is a bit extravagent for my taste"… 
Good luck! -vicki
Response:
(SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS) says: My boyfriend asked me the other day if he should surprise *me* or my parents
I think as you’ve pointed out it’s going to be a surprise to your parents either way. If he surprises you, the two of you still get to surprise your parents. (Personally, I’d recommend mentioning to your parents ahead of time that you’re thinking the guy may be your future husband. That way, you get to feel out the issues that they might have a problem with ahead of time.) Another alternative would be for him to *call* your father. I’m sure he’d understand, knowing you’re in an LDR. The other question you nested in there, which is, "should I help him select the ring" is quite independent. I think there are several choices. 1) Let him pick out the ring on his own and have the proposal and ring giving be a complete surprise. (Personally, I know this isn’t for me.) 2) Help him by going to jewelry stores together and letting him see exactly what you like. Still allows complete surprise factor. I have a friend who went with his girlfriend to jewelry stores, found out what she liked, went back later that day to buy the exact ring, and then sat on it for a couple of months! (She was going nuts wondering when he was going to pop the question; I’m sure it would have been even greater agony for her if she’d known he’d already bought the ring!) 3) He could propose to you without a ring in hand, or with a "temporary ring" of some kind, and you could then go look together. (A temporary ring could be anything from a silver band to a diamond solitaire that he bought for the occasion, having made a deal with the jeweler that he could bring it back for full credit toward another diamond ring.) 4) He could propose in the store. Someone I know took his girlfriend into a jewelry store and looked at diamond rings with her. Then, when they found one they liked, he got down on one knee and proposed. When she said yes, he told the salesperson they’d take it. :-) But any thoughts on how to deal with my parents? They’ll be suffiently *surprised* to say the least-
I think that giving them a hint ahead of time will undoubtedly be very helpful. Finding out what objections they have and trying to soothe them is a good idea. Both of you visiting them together to talk to them about the engagement would also be helpful for them. Hopefully, they realize that you’re an adult and are going to make your own decisions. Once my mother realized I was going to marry the guy no matter what she thought about it, she mostly stopped trying to tell me what a bad idea it was. (My mother thinks everything I do is a bad idea, so this wasn’t exactly news. It had nothing to do with thinking the guy was unsuitable; she just thought I shouldn’t get married before I was 30.) -Sonja —— The key to a happy marriage is take care of the marriage and the happy will take care of itself. -Yiddish proverb
Response:
My boyfriend asked me the other day if he should surprise *me* or my parents (by getting engaged) We’re in an LDR and to be conveniently at my house for a ‘little talk with dad’ would be *very* suspicious. We’ve talked about getting married for a year, os I ‘m sort of onto the fact he’s going to propose one of these days — just not sure when– He wants to know if he should give me the ring or ask dad first (he’s a REAL traditionalist). Should I go with him to get it? He wants to know– but I think I trust his taste- Have I solved my own problem? How exciting! But any thoughts on how to deal with my parents? They’ll be suffiently *surprised* to say the least- Any input from the net will be greatly appreciated- use my header so I know you’re resp. to my prob. (can’t read ALL of my news, though I ‘d love to) Thanks!!! Mindy*
Response:
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